By: Lester Bueller As the media throws up yet another hissy fit over Doug Ford and Stephen Lecce using the Notwithstanding Clause yet again I just have to say: I don’t care. Ford and Lecce …
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Pierre Poilievre wins Parliament’s Halloween Costume Contest with spot-on Milhouse
OTTAWA – Not content with only winning the Tory leadership election this year, Pierre Poilievre can now add another victory to his resume. He has just won the 2022 House of Commons Hallowee…
Poltergeist struggling to leave threatening message on toothpaste caked mirror
EDMONTON — The ghostly entity inhabiting the creepy old house at the end of Palmer Road is completely fed by the new occupants’ lack of cleanliness. The current residents of Ashcroft Manor inclu…
Village Idiot buys Town Square
YE OLDE PAOLO ALTO – Surprising both maidens and lads, village idiot Elon Musk has purchased the town square and shall now rule it as he sees fit. “I decree that all may now enter the…
Study: Drivers debating between Express and Collectors choose slower one 100% of the time
TORONTO – A new study by the University of Toronto has concluded that people driving on the 401 near Toronto choosing between the Express and Collectors lanes choose the slower option every…
Police: “We could have handled Freedom Convoy without Emergencies Act, we just didn’t wanna”
OTTAWA – As police officers from the RCMP, OPP and Ottawa Police continue to downplay the necessity of the Emergencies Act in finally ending the Freedom Convoy Protest, they have made it cl…
Former Spirit Halloween location haunted by cheap mass-produced ghosts
ST. CATHARINE’S — The customers at children’s store Kiddie Korner have been getting more than they bargained for this Halloween season in the form of dozens of bargain basement spectres. Th…
Coffee Time Manager going to pretend that all the spiderwebs are Halloween decorations
Owen Sound, ON – Management of a local Coffee Time has asked that all staff pretend that the cobwebs currently coating stationary objects were put there for the Halloween season, as opposed…
Silver medalists only survivors of Transylvania Olympics
TIMIŞOARA – The 2022 Transylvania Olympics, which invites “hale and sanguineous” athletes from around the world to compete in Romania, has concluded with only the silver medalists appearing at th…
Rogers exec keeps side hustle
TORONTO – Rogers Family board member John Tory has been allowed to continue his night job as mayor of the city of Toronto. “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to serve the people o…
