ROCHESTER, MN — Reports are coming in that a ham and cheese sandwich suffered a grievous injury in its internal ingredients, necessitating medical evacuation to the Mayo Clinic. “This is about as…
Tag: Featured Post
Everything Doug Ford was happy to do without asking for a Mandate from the electorate
Doug Ford has announced Ontarians will go to the polls this February. Even though he is only 2.5 years into his current regime, Ford says he needs “a strong mandate” from the people t…
China’s new and cheaper magic beans shock America’s unprepared magic bean salesmen
NEW YORK CITY – America’s magic bean market is in turmoil after a Chinese company unveiled a competing bean that’s less than one tenth the price but still just as useless. “DeepBean’s new beans o…
Problematic but brilliant doctor who plays by his own rules will put your new liver where he damn well pleases
TORONTO – Renegade doctor Lance Falcon is shocking the medical establishment with his brilliant but wildly unorthodox thoughts on where your new liver should go, according to dazzled reporters. “…
Hear ye, hear ye! Governor from England returns to Upper Canada to restore the Dominion
OTTAWA – Hear ye hear ye fine citizens of British North America and allow your hearts to be elated. After a long hiatus in London, England, esteemed Governor of the Bank of England Mark Car…
Christy Clark opts out of Liberal leadership race in order to run for NDP leader next year
VANCOUVER – Former B.C. Premier Christy Clark has opted not to run for leader of the federal Liberal Party, stating she intends to run for leader of the NDP when Jagmeet Singh steps down. &…
Trudeau immediately begs for job back after realising he’ll need to buy a house
OTTAWA – Just hours after announcing he was stepping down as Liberal Party leader and prime minister, Justin Trudeau was begging for the job back after spending 10 minutes browsing the Ottawa hou…
Report: Just one or two million mistakes can bring down a Prime Minister
OTTAWA – According to experts Justin Trudeau resigning is proof that just making political error after political error over the course of 9 years can topple even the most powerful politicia…
Gen Xer attempts to untangle AirPods
NANAIMO, BC — Local Gen X-er Jerry Greene flailed like an inflatable car dealership mascot today as he attempted to untangle and insert his AirPods before answering his ringing iPhone. “‘Call mis…
Dunderheaded ant taking inefficient route to crumb
CALGARY – Reports from the Calloway household indicate that a local ant is taking a pointlessly circuitous route to a tasty chocolate chip cookie crumb. “He rounded the knife block twice, and the…
