OTTAWA – Local Senators fan Morgan Horowitz is pretty sure that his confident proclamations that this is the year the Senators achieve team success won’t make him look like an absolut…
Tag: Featured Post
10 most controversial policies passed at the Conservative Party convention
At their annual party convention this past weekend the Conservative base attempted to defuse Liberal arguments that the party is too far to the right for the average Canadian voter by passing a b…
“You fucks aren’t wearing a wire are you?” The Beaverton interview with Doug Ford
We sat down with Ontario Premier Doug Ford to discuss the Greenbelt scandal and how he plans to fix his damaged reputation. Premier Ford thank you for agreeing to this interview. “Yeah let&…
Country with massive housing shortage not sure what to do with all these empty office buildings
OTTAWA – As employees continue to express their desire to work from home, owners of downtown office buildings aren’t sure what they will do with all this unused space. Also in unrelat…
Justin Trudeau and 10 other Marxists you should know
Pierre Poilievre has labelled Justin Trudeau (and his father) “Marxists”, a term used to describe people that adhere to the economic and political philosophies of Karl Marx, namely th…
Conservative education ministers tackle urgent problem of children feeling too safe at school
REGINA – Several conservative provincial governments have enacted or are planning to enact policies that require parental consent for children to change their names and pronouns in school a…
World’s climate scientists recommend having only as many children as you plan to eat
GENEVA — The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change put out a statement today advising potential parents to only create and rear as many children as they believe they’ll feasibly be able to co…
Frustrated facial recognition program has foot fetish
CUPERTINO, CA – Computer scientists were stunned this week when they discovered that the Apple facial recognition program running on your iPhone lives a life of unrequited desire because it…
Report: There’s no College of Satire Writers, so we’re allowed to call Jordan Peterson a hateful little bitch without consequence
TORONTO – The Ontario Divisional Court has upheld the College of Psychologists’ determination that, due to his hateful tweets and comments, training on social media etiquette will be requir…
“The Leafs re-signing their best player is bad for them actually,” says brilliant hockey sage
TORONTO – The Leafs and franchise centre Auston Matthews have agreed to a 4 year, 53 million dollar contract extension in a move that numerous experts on twitter and reddit believe has doom…
