Alice Munro, the Nobel prize winning author, master of the short story, and person who wrote the best description of the human penis in all of literary history, has passed away at the age of 92. …
Tag: Featured Post
Toronto’s expansion WNBA franchise mathematically certain to win their league championship before Leafs do
TORONTO – Former MLSE chair Larry Tanenbaum is reportedly set to bring an expansion WNBA franchise to Toronto for the start of the 2026 season, who will undoubtedly win their league champio…
Rex Murphy’s Obituary written in the style of a Rex Murphy editorial
Rex Murphy, the blustering defamer of societal ills (real and imagined), fraudulent politicians and the eternal menace of the youth, met with the Grim Reaper yesterday after 77 turns around the s…
Maple Leafs begin search for new scapegoat
TORONTO – The Maple Leafs have fired head coach Sheldon Keefe after another first round exit, beginning a search for a new shmuck to blame the franchise’s larger problems on. “While we appreciate…
Canadian universities defend banning pro-Palestinian encampments: “We want our students to study genocide, not actually do anything about it”
OTTAWA – As university students from Montreal, Toronto, and Ottawa begin protesting the genocide in Palestine with demonstrations and encampments, officials from their schools have released…
Leafs assure devastated fans that this is them trying their best
TORONTO – After delivering an uninspired effort in Game 4 that saw them fall behind 3-1 in their first round series against the Boston Bruins, the Toronto Maple Leafs took time to promise t…
Canucks fans denied viewing parties vow to riot and destroy property from the comfort of their homes
VANCOUVER – No official outdoor Canucks viewing parties will be held in Vancouver during the NHL playoffs, prompting angry fans to make due by drunkenly smashing their own possessions. “I have fo…
Everything freedom loving Conservatives have banned Canadians from doing in recent years
Pierre Poilievre and the Conservatives plan to make Canada the freest country in the world if (ok once) they get into power. In unrelated news here is a list of everything Conservatives currently…
American 18-year-olds stoked to vote in last presidential election
FRESNO, CA – Across the United States young people who will turn eighteen by November 5 are expressing their excitement at being able to vote in the last presidential election of their life…
Wealthy Canadians demand the Liberals also raise taxes on the capital gains of the poor
OTTAWA – After learning the new federal budget will increase the amount of tax paid by people who make more than $250,000 in capital gains in a year, Canada’s richest citizens are demanding…
