VICTORIA – Stephen Thackston, an absinthe aficionado and self-described ‘weird dandy,’ wants the public to know how hard physical distancing has been on the neo-fop community. “Do you have …
Tag: Featured Post
Nation starts GoFundMe for Jon Hamm so he doesn’t have to do any more Skip The Dishes ads
OTTAWA – The nation of Canada has come together to raise money for struggling actor Jon Hamm so he doesn’t need to do any more of those god awful Skip The Dishes ads. “I know th…
John Tory tweets “Stay home. Unless you’re being evicted, then get the fuck out.”
TORONTO – Toronto’s mayor John Tory has requested that residents stay home unless landlords aren’t making money off of them in which case they need to leave their homes. “Stay home,” tweete…
Trudeau announces new vaccine advent calendar
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced today that Canada will soon receive its first batch of COVID vaccinations, which will be distributed to Canadians using Health Canada’s new …
Girlfriend’s cat watching you pee again
Hamilton, ON – Late Friday night, your girlfriend’s cat, Cheddar, watched you relieve yourself again in your girlfriend’s en-suite bathroom, and frankly, you’ve had enough. “It doesn’t look…
“For Christmas this year I just want you to stay safe,” says mom who wants PlayStation 5
RED DEER – Sarah Jessup urged her three adult children to just hunker down and stay safe this Christmas, while also hoping someone would go out and get her a PlayStation 5 anyway. “The greatest g…
Office Christmas Party cancellation leaves local man with nowhere to make drunken fool of himself
CALGARY – With his firm forgoing plans for the usual Christmas party this year due to the current pandemic, paralegal Will Sanchez is worried that he will have nowhere to disgrace himself i…
Amazon responds to The Queen’s Gambit by ordering limited series about Jenga prodigy
CULVER CITY – In the wake of the worldwide success of the Netflix limited series The Queen’s Gambit, about the rise of fictional chess genius Beth Harmon, Amazon Studios has placed an order…
Santa Claus states fake Pandemic won’t stop him from entering anyone’s home
North Pole – Santa Claus has responded to questions about the pandemic affecting Christmas by saying he is not afraid of some “fake disease.” “I won’t let some left-wing conspiracy to destr…
Trump forces Eric and Don Jr to compete for last spot on pardon list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump has been preparing a slew of preemptive pardons to ensure none of the criminal activity carried out during his presidency will result in jail time for his fav…
