WASHINGTON— Following a year and a half of helping to facilitate the Trump Administration’s descent into authoritarianism, US Attorney General William Barr handed in his resignation yesterday aft…
Tag: Featured Post
“Just figure it out!” screams Jeff Bezos at underlings after hearing of man who provides overnight shipping worldwide on Christmas Eve
SEATTLE – On the heels of their most successful year yet, Amazon HQ was thrown into chaos this afternoon after CEO Jeff Bezos caught wind of a competitor potentially edging in on holiday profits.…
Report: Best way to discover embarrassing errors in company email is to click “send”
VANCOUVER – According to a new study conducted by researchers at the University of British Columbia, the most effective way for employees to uncover horrifying typos in important company-wide ema…
Indoor restaurant builds separate indoor restaurant on sidewalk in order to work within COVID guidelines
Barrie, ON – Local restaurants have brilliantly adapted to the new COVID guidelines by building smaller but still fully enclosed restaurants outside their original restaurant. “People are n…
Trudeau using December downtime to plan out 2021 ethics violations
OTTAWA, ON – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is making the most of the slow period at work before the holidays to plan out future scandals to embroil the Liberal government for months on e…
Christopher Nolan wants audiences to see movies the right way: sitting in a seat some teenager got to third base in
BURBANK, CA – In the wake of Warner Bros.’ announcement that they will release their entire lineup of 2021 films in theatres and on HBOMax simultaneously, several industry players have come out i…
“White men are the problem” says white woman who is also the problem
VANCOUVER – Reporting from a new juice bar in the gentrified neighbourhood of Chinatown, white woman, Clarissa Rogers, claimed that white men are to blame for societal inequities. “Like tod…
Patrick from life insurance commercial dies, insurance company denies coverage
Moose Jaw, SK – Patrick Donahue, known throughout Canada as “It’s Patrick he took out life insurance!” from that commercial has unfortunately passed away, and his insuranc…
Local absinthe drinker hasn’t been to a baroque midnight ritual in months
VICTORIA – Stephen Thackston, an absinthe aficionado and self-described ‘weird dandy,’ wants the public to know how hard physical distancing has been on the neo-fop community. “Do you have …
Nation starts GoFundMe for Jon Hamm so he doesn’t have to do any more Skip The Dishes ads
OTTAWA – The nation of Canada has come together to raise money for struggling actor Jon Hamm so he doesn’t need to do any more of those god awful Skip The Dishes ads. “I know th…
