WINDSOR, UK – Representatives of the British Monarchy have confirmed the sad news that the long-ailing cousin of the Queen, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, has died. Prince Philip’s familial re…
Tag: Featured Post
Netflix adds ‘movies set in New York but it’s obviously Toronto’ category
TORONTO – Netflix is adding a new category of films viewers can scroll through before just choosing to re-watch The Crown: movies set in New York that are obviously Toronto. “We’…
Jason Kenney insists dinosaurs belong in government, not the classroom
EDMONTON – Premier Jason Kenney is changing the public school curriculum in Alberta to better reflect the UCP’s position that lumbering prehistoric creatures should not be the focus o…
Ford introduces “stay at home unless you’re sick and can’t get rid of your shift” order
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is expected to announce a province-wide stay-at-home order today, which will require everyone to remain at home unless they’re sick but cannot find anyon…
Ford doesn’t understand why eligible Ontarians not registering to get vaccines he insists haven’t been delivered
TORONTO – Faced with questions as to why Ontario is not vaccinating more people, Premier Doug Ford insisted that hundreds of thousands of eligible residents have, for some reason, not signe…
Local woman faces Sophie’s Choice between having secure mental health and having an orgasm
TORONTO – In a world where the only thing louder than the shrieking climax of pharmaceutical capitalism is the suffocating endemic of mental illness, one woman has to make the decision of a…
April Jason Kenney refuses to give in to the radical agenda of February Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – In a press conference on Alberta’s latest COVID spike, Premier Jason Kenney vowed that the province would not enter another lockdown no matter how often extremists like the Jason Kenne…
Doug Ford blames Ontario youth for creating such ineffectual lockdown rules
TORONTO — As Ontario enters its third official lockdown of the pandemic, many are calling the new lockdown measures confusing, ineffectual, and almost no different than what they were befor…
Merriam Webster scrambles to keep up with Ford’s definition of “shutdown”
Springfield, MA — It was all hands on deck at dictionary-maker Merriam Webster’s head office as employees worked to create a new definition of “shutdown” following Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s ann…
Local woman makes suspiciously late “Happy Quarantine-aversary!” post
TORONTO – Local influencer Meghan Freling made a pandemic anniversary post earlier this week on her popular instagram account, prompting friends and followers to ask whether it’s a bit late…
