Waterloo, ON – The Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics put out a statement saying that after months of careful study, they can now claim that Prime Minister Mark Carney’s elbows are…
Tag: Featured Post
Air Canada, union reach deal, forcing travelers to fly Air Canada again
MONTREAL – As stranded passengers celebrated the news that a tentative deal had been reached by Air Canada and the union representing flight attendants, the mood was tempered by the realiza…
As strike looms, Air Canada thrilled to have new excuse to cancel flights
MONTREAL – Air Canada’s flight attendants have issued a strike notice, prompting the airline to swiftly embrace a new and exciting reason to cancel flights. “I’ve blamed flight cancellations on m…
How dare Tim Houston ruin my child’s favourite summer activity: burning down the province of Nova Scotia
By: Peggy-Anne MacInnis The Nova Scotia government’s ban on any human activity in the woods is outrageous and likely unconstitutional. It infringes on our god given right to enjoy the beauty of C…
Smelly man rebrands himself as savoury man
EDMONTON – Greg Abbott, a formerly smelly man, has decided to describe himself as savoury after many besmirchings of his scent. “Smelly is a childish insult that shouldn’t be used to descr…
Pros and Cons of solving traffic congestion by building a big ass tunnel under the 401
Doug Ford continues to push ahead with plans to dig a 19.5 metre wide, multi-story tunnel under the 401 in order to solve the issue of traffic congestion once and for all. Here are some of the pr…
Elder Millennial opens zip file of cherished memories
Brandon, MB – While doing some cleaning around her hard drive, local 39-year-old Hannah Greensly has stumbled upon an old zip file containing all her photos from the aughts and is currently…
Man stranded on desert island regrets bringing favourite album instead of flare gun
PACIFIC OCEAN – According to nautical sources, 36-year-old Damian Clarke regrets not bringing fundamental survival supplies to an abandoned island in favour of packing 3 Doors Down’s smash hit d…
I’ve been silent for 21 months of genocide, but this one editorial criticizing Israel will prove I’ve always been on the right side of history
By: Martin Olsen, Syndicated Columnist The images coming out of Gaza are horrendous. Mothers holding starving babies, children crying out for food, people collapsing in the street from hunger. Th…
Millennials increasingly depressed they’ll never be able to tell children to get off their lawn
TORONTO – A recent housing survey suggests that the uptick in melancholy exhibited by the millennial generation is the result of realizing that they will never be able to yell at children o…
