TORONTO – The pleasant bald man from the A&W commercials is seeing your mother, but you know what? It doesn’t bother you. “He’s a nice man,” says your 63-year-old mother. “The A&W G…
Tag: Featured Post
Report: as long as this is the one ceasefire in a thousand that Israel doesn’t break, everything will be fine
Once in a blue moon, a ceasefire in the Middle East involving Israel actually holds. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and Nile Seguin) talk about Trump starting WWIII and then gett…
Liberals promise anti-democratic components of Bill C-5 will be used sparingly as long as Conservatives never get in power again
OTTAWA – Shortly after jamming through a law that allows Cabinet to ignore Parliamentary Accountability for energy projects, Liberal MPs are confident that these provisions will only be use…
Florida, Calgary win Stanley Cup Final
SUNRISE, FL – The Florida Panthers have defeated the Edmonton Oilers in the Stanley Cup Final, securing both Florida and Calgary their second consecutive Cup victory over Edmonton. “I’m happy my …
Dad raises shirt a bit to air out belly, rub it
TORONTO – Local father Ray Teramoto has untucked his t-shirt to expose his hairy belly and rub it while watching television, according to sources familiar with the situation. “Tucking in hi…
“Eh, fuck it”: Montreal F1 driver takes an Uber
MONTREAL, QUEBEC – The annual Montreal Grand Prix has arrived, but one championship-winning Formula One driver decided to forego the traditional lavish displays of the competition and enter…
Carney invites The Mayor from Jaws to G7
“Our trade partnership Amity Island is simply too important.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk about the ICE protests and Donald Trump turning …
Inventive refs develop new way to help Panthers win beyond the favourable whistle
Sunrise, FL – In a landmark win for referee science, the team of Wes McCauley and Francis Charron have come up with a new way to help the Panthers win: physically blocking Oilers players in…
Carney fights off harsh U.S. authoritarianism with slightly gentler Canadian authoritarianism
OTTAWA — As Americans face the horror of U.S. troops being deployed to American cities on the orders of President Donald Trump to break up peaceful protests, the Canadian government under Prime M…
Carney limits G7 guests to one assassination each
OTTAWA – After inviting Indian PM Narendra Modi Prime Minister Mark Carney issued strict rules for the upcoming G7 meeting in Kananaskis, Alberta, limiting assassinations to one per guest n…
