Victoria, BC – After five years of fruitlessly investigating minor drug crimes at a local high school, sources have confirmed that undercover RCMP officer Frank ‘Frankie’ DeRosa…
Tag: drugs
Woman always on vacation in your Instagram feed actually cocaine smuggler
PLAYA DEL CARMEN, MEXICO – After taking a series selfies in a tropical beach paradise, the gorgeous woman in your Instagram feed who always seems to be on vacation loaded a boat full of coc…
Student on study abroad has deep realization that they love cheap drugs and boning down
PRAGUE – International Relations student Michael Kenley has had a huge self-realization while on his summer abroad in Europe, discovering deep down that he loves readily accessible drugs an…
We ranked these crimes from coolest to mail fraud
El Chapo, O. J. Simpson, Donald Trump Jr. Criminals have never had more cultural cache, but not all crimes are cool. For every indie soundtracked, Edgar Wright-inspiring car chase there is some s…
Entire city of Oshawa arrested for running marijuana grow-op
The feds crackdown on marijuana dispensaries and grow-ops takes an unexpected twist in Oshawa.…
Royal Couple given traditional Vancouver gift of artisanal fentanyl
VANCOUVER – At the conclusion of William and Kate’s official state visit to the city, Mayor Gregor Robertson had the honour of presenting them with a symbolic present representing the sacre…
Discovery of meth lab shows excellent health of Whitehorse’s entrepreneurial economy
WHITEHORSE — A recent fire that revealed the presence of a meth lab in Yukon’s capital city demonstrates the willingness of small businesses to invest in the city, a local economist says. D…
New prescription drug to treat side-effects of prescription drug costs
TORONTO — While many Canadians are finding it difficult to make ends meet with prescription drug costs, a pharmaceutical company has unveiled a new solution to their problems: Gougium. Goug…
Harper proposes travel ban on Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside
VANCOUVER — Vowing to keep Canadians safe, Prime Minister Stephen Harper promised to criminalize travelling to Vancouver’s notorious East Hasting Street. Harper made the announcement wearin…
Nation waits for more Bill Cosbys to come forward before believing Bill Cosby rape accusations
HOLLYWOOD – Following the release of documents revealing that Bill Cosby himself admitted to obtaining prescription Quaaludes to have sex with women, a skeptical nation has resolved to give…