WASHINGTON D.C. – Following this week’s indictment of wealthy serial child abuser Jeffrey Epstein, Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta responded has discussed his involvement in a controversia…
Tag: Donald Trump
This year’s song of the summer just podcast about impeachment
TORONTO —- In what musicologists and pop chart analysts are calling an unprecedented trend, patterns in digital downloads, youtube views and online engagement all indicate that this year’s song o…
Malnourished toddler relieved to hear he’s not technically in a concentration camp
CLINT, TEXAS — After having been separated from his parents and forced to sleep on a concrete floor with thousands of other migrant children, 2 year old migrant Filipe Diaz was relieved to …
Sarah Sanders looking forward to spending more time lying to her family
WASHINGTON, DC – U.S. President Donald Trump has announced that Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be leaving her post as White House press secretary at the end of June, following nearly two years…
Worst American pardons fourth-worst Canadian
TORONTO – Canada’s fourth-worst person, Conrad Black, is celebrating alone after receiving a pardon from America’s worst individual, their president. “If being the worst is a crime,” Trump told r…
Rudy Giuliani does interview with pringle cans stuck on both hands
NEW YORK CITY – Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City and key member of Trump’s legal team, conducted a 30 minute interview with Chris Cuomo on CNN with Sour Cream and Onion Pringle …
Redacted Mueller Report reads: “████ Trump ████ ███ not ██ ████ ██ guilty ████”
WASHINGTON, DC — After refusing to release the full Mueller Report for several weeks, Attorney General William Barr has cleared the report for public consumption, which states, “██████████ …
Trump to replace outgoing DHS Secretary Nielsen with printed-out Breitbart articles
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the announcement that Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen will step down from her role, President Trump has announced her replacement to oversee the the Department of Homelan…
Democrats pin fading hopes for justice on 16 remaining investigations
WASHINGTON D.C. – Shocked and demoralized by William Barr’s summary of the Mueller Report, American liberals are afraid they’ve lost their last best chance to hold Trump accountable, aside …
Mueller attaches literal smoking gun to report just to keep those fuckers happy
Washington D.C.— Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller has reportedly taken the unprecedented step of appending a recently used Colt 45 to his special report to U.S. Attorney General William Barr in …