LETHBRIDGE – According to local sources, Alex and Taylor Shepherd’s plans for a date night have been scaled back to lethargic hand stuff in front of the TV. “I was going to treat Alex to dinner a…
Tag: dating
Which dating app should you go crawling back to during Omicron?
Remember how last year, you were so sure you were done with the toxicity of online dating and said you would put an honest to God effort into meeting someone in person this year instead of just t…
QUIZ: Is he really into you, or does he just need your love to break his family’s curse?
There comes a time in every relationship when we must ask ourselves: is he really into me, or is he just using me… to free his family from the curse bestowed upon them by a witch long ago? …
5 ways lesbian dating has not changed during the pandemic
Over the past year and a half, COVID-19 has upended our lives in ways previously unfathomable to even the wildest, gayest imaginations. Pride celebrations have moved online, and if Drag Race Seas…
Heartbreaking: this hot guy was only texting with you because he needs clean piss
Local woman Jessica Long fell under the spell of a hot young man, Ryan (last name unknown) in the summer, immediately taken with his every reply and Finger 11 song recommendations. Jessica quickl…
Oh no! I learned my attachment style and it’s Clippy from Microsoft Word
I had been struggling with relationships for a while. No matter how hard I’ve tried or how detached I’ve tried to be, those I’ve loved have left me or I’ve pushed them away. That’s when someone c…
“You’re not like other girls,” says man exactly like all other men
LONDON, ON — A local man indistinguishable from any other man wants the woman he just met to know that she’s “not like other girls.” Adam Adamson, 29, discovered the “girl” in question last…
Straight couple seeks fun-loving girl for night of bickering and mediocre sex
NEWMARKET, ON – A local straight couple is seeking a “fun-loving girl” to join them for a night of relentless disagreements capped off with uninspired boinking. Kristy Walker, 24, and her boyfrie…
2020: The year we all became incels
OTTAWA – Reports from the nation’s uncoupled population indicate that 2020 is the year we all became involuntary celibates. “It’s been a hard year.” Says Abby Aquino of Hamilton. “My sex li…
Most gorgeous woman you’ve ever met dating local potato
Burnaby, BC – Local residents were shocked and confused to learn that 27-year old Rachel Besimille, a woman so gorgeous that she has caused many to re-evaluate the 1-10 rating scale entirel…