TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford’s government successfully passed a bill today allowing municipalities to create bike paths throughout the province so long as they lead to a wall with the …
Tag: cyclists
Nation’s cyclists mortified after learning that stop signs and red lights apply to them too
OTTAWA – Cyclists across the country expressed their deepest apologies today after learning that they weren’t actually allowed to run every red light and stop sign they come across. &…
Hero driver taps lightly on brakes before plowing into cyclist
TORONTO – Onlookers yesterday afternoon were treated to a remarkable display of the very best humanity has to offer, as local driver Jonas Grumby tapped lightly on his brakes while making a right…
Perfectionist truck driver circles block looking for right bike lane to park in
TORONTO – Local Fed-Ex driver Martin Bedard has spent the last 20 minutes circling in order to find the exact right bike lane to leave his truck in while he delivers a package. “A lot…
If re-elected, Tory promises to increase flooding until Toronto a gondola-filled Venice of the North
TORONTO – With the mayoral election less than a month away, John Tory is running on his record of turning Toronto into a stormwater-flooded city of breathtaking waterways. “Imagine it,” sai…
Streetcar tracks won’t rest until all cyclists broken
TORONTO – Seething with deep loathing and blind hatred, the city’s streetcar tracks have promised never to rest until every single one of Toronto cyclists’ bodies have been crushed, bruised…