OTTAWA – Continuing our country’s long standing role as a global leader in humanitarian causes, the government of Canada has stepped forward and announced its support for a 5 minute w…
Tag: Canada
Local children not at all scared by haunted House of Commons
OTTAWA – The federal government’s attempt to entertain young Halloween visitors fell flat on its face this year, as almost no child has reported being scared by the main attraction: a…
CRTC to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podcast is
OTTAWA – Hot on the heels of Bill C-18’s regulation of news on social media platforms, the CRTC announced a follow-up plan to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podca…
Struggling Canadian Military recruits Neighbour Kid with Supersoaker
OTTAWA – The federal government announced plans this week to upgrade their dated military by hiring the most powerful weapon they can think of: an eight-year-old with a water gun. “For years, our…
Writers Guild members celebrate deal by coming up with excuses to do writing later
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Following a months-long strike that saw the Writers Guild of America negotiating with Hollywood producers for fair wages and protections against AI writing programs, members…
House of Commons speaker relieved Japanese veteran who fought against China couldn’t make it
OTTAWA – House of Commons speaker Anthony Rota has expressed his relief that the Japanese veteran, whom he was intending to honour for fighting against China, was unable to appear. “Wow, re…
India issues advisory warning travellers against assassinating people in Canada
NEW DELHI – India has warned its citizens to exercise the “utmost caution” when attempting to covertly assassinate people in Canada. In a statement issued on its website, India’s Ministry o…
5 solutions to fix housing prices that are never, ever making them less expensive
As the average price of a Canadian house hit $668,754 in July, up by more than 6% in past year, homeowners and renters across the country are feeling the squeeze. Canadians, particularly millenni…
Trudeau assures worried Liberal staffers he will remain influential and wealthy after electoral collapse
OTTAWA – With polls showing Conservatives trouncing the federal Liberals in a hypothetical election, Prime Minister Trudeau reassured worried party staffers that he will suffer almost no lo…
Canadian flag updated to show maple leaf burning in wildfire
OTTAWA – As a summer season of wildfires rages across the nation, the Federal Government has updated the Canadian flag to more accurately depict the maple leaf burning in an uncontrolled wi…
