The government has unveiled a new design to Canada’s passport. Out went images of Terry Fox and Vimy Ridge, something we definitely all knew were in our passports, and in went more abstract…
Tag: Canada
Breaking: Your grieving mother definitely slept with Gordon Lightfoot
Leamington, ON – Your mother has been sitting silently on her porch running her fingers through the fabric of an old summer dress and listening to “Gord’s Gold” on repeat all week and, oh God, oh…
Alberta government passes legislation to protect vulnerable gun population
EDMONTON, AB- The Alberta provincial government has restated its commitment to providing protection and support for the provinces’ most marginalized and under-supported population sectors: firear…
“Spring in Canada is so beautiful” says woman about to experience months of grimy dirt snow on the side of roads
BURLINGTON, ON – Penny Collier, 31, recently claimed to some international friends that “springtime in Canada is so beautiful”, clearly not remembering the endless months follow…
Chinese government asks Elections Canada for tax receipt
OTTAWA – After learning of the generous 75% tax refund received by Canadians who donate to a political party, the Chinese government has issued an urgent request asking for an Elections Can…
Canada announces tax-free grocery savings account
OTTAWA – As part of their latest budget, the Trudeau Liberals have announced an additional measure to help financially squeezed Canadians: a new tax free savings account to help Canadians s…
Due to inflation, Newfoundland time zone now 45 minutes past the hour
ST JOHN’S – The Government of Newfoundland and Labrador this week announced that after adjustments for inflation, Newfoundland’s time zone will be shifted to 45 minutes past the hour. Prem…
Last shred of joy taxed 6.3% more
OTTAWA – The federal government has announced a new 6.3% tax on beer, wine, and all other alcoholic spirits that represent the last fragment of happiness in your otherwise pointless existen…
TikTok faces investigation from Canadian privacy WOW look at that fun dance HEY a cool dog
OTTAWA – Canada’s federal privacy watchdog, along with three provincial counterparts, has launched a joint investigation into the controversial social media WHOA check out that hashtag chal…
Foreign spies only people still interested in Canadian politics
OTTAWA – After a damning CSIS report revealing efforts by Chinese spies to influence Canada’s 2019 election, a follow-up report by Elections Canada concluded that foreign spies appear to be…