RED DEER – An extensive investigation by the United Nations has concluded that, among all of Canada’s cities, Red Deer, Alberta is the one that most resembles the country’s iconically mediocre ch…
Tag: Boston Pizza
Boston Pizza announces some new $37 dollar “Cheesegetti with Hamburger” garbage
RICHMOND, BC – A press release from Boston Pizza has announced an exciting new menu item of overpriced cheese and beef that technically qualifies as food. “Boston Pizza is proud to be the restau…
Picnic ruined by being outside
THUNDER BAY — After three gruelling hours of tolerating such things as weather and plants, every member of the Terrence family has stated that their attempt at a picnic was ruined by the choice t…
Wal-Mart parking lot in Whitehorse newest campground in Yukon
WHITEHORSE – Extolling the breathtaking beauty of Whitehorse’s urban wilderness, Yukon Parks has unveiled its newest campground located in the Walmart parking lot between Quartz Road and Ch…
Syrian refugees relieved they won’t end up in Saskatchewan
BEIRUT — Syrian refugees expected to arrive in Canada were consoled by the fact that they are not welcome to live in Saskatchewan following Premier Brad Wall’s concerns that some of them ma…
Alarming report suggests catastrophic climate change could alter purchasing habits
YOKOHAMA, JAPAN – An alarming new report suggests that the effects of catastrophic climate change could ultimately impact the way humans consume products and respond to advertising. “For ye…
Report: It way too late to get something going for Valentine’s Day
MONTREAL – Despite your best efforts to remain positive, a report released this morning by McGill University has affirmed that it’s already way too late to get something going for Valentine…
Local dad less enthused than hoped about ‘daddy’s girl’ back tattoo
OSHAWA, ON – Ashley Moffat, 22, rushed home Sunday morning to show her father the new message of love she had carved into her skin as a birthday gift to him, only to be disappointed by his …