Homeopaths without Borders discover 87 cures for Ebola virus
ATLANTA – The international homeopathy organization, Homeopaths without Borders, has discovered nearly 100 different cures for the Ebola Virus and will promptly use these remedies to fight …
World commemorates anniversary of war that ended, then caused, all wars
LONDON – To honour its centennial year, countries across the world commemorated the war that ended, then caused, all wars. Tributes were made to the fallen at World War I memorials, which w…
Habs fans get 8 more years to scapegoat P.K. Subban
MONTREAL — Habs fans across social media erupted into cheers after the Montreal Canadiens signed a 8 year, $72 million deal with their favorite scapegoat, P.K. Subban. “Bergevin could not d…
MacKay skips Canadian BAR conference to study for his LSAT
OTTAWA – Peter MacKay will miss the annual Canadian Bar Association conference after insisting that he really needs to study for his upcoming LSAT examination. “I had barely enough time to …
Wal-Mart advertises new price, worker benefit rollbacks
BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS – In an effort to engage consumers, Wal-Mart has begun advertising rollbacks in employee health benefits and wages in their weekly flyers. “At Walmart, our associates pride …
August is Cause-Related Marketing Awareness Month
TORONTO – Corporations everywhere are reminding Canadians that they should be aware of all of the good cause-related marketing they have been doing lately. “We think it’s very important tha…
Toronto police release Bill Blair after ten years in custody
TORONTO – After being remanded for a reason that still has not been disclosed, Bill Blair was finally released by Toronto police after being unlawfully detained for over 10 years. “It’s bee…
Last known viewer of Mike Bullard Show passes away
TORONTO – John Issac, the last remaining Canadian to have watched Open Mike with Mike Bullard, has died at age 78. Issac, who hailed from New Brunswick, was one of 11 people known to have e…
New Montreal Metro stops named ‘De Layed’, ‘De Crepid’ and ‘Du Bious’
MONTREAL – After spending $125,000 to make slight changes to 19 Metro station names, the Societe de Transport de Montreal (STM) unveiled its new stations names for the Blue Line: “De Layed,…
World’s nations ask if it’s too late to boycott Sochi Olympics
WASHINGTON – In response to increased Russian support of Ukrainian rebels, a coalition of world powers have announced that they will inquire whether it is too late to boycott the Sochi Winter Oly…
