Ghostbusters fans ain’t afraid of no ghosts, unless that ghost has a vagina
THE INTERNET – After director Paul Feig announced that his Ghostbusters reboot would feature an all-female cast of Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon, many fans …
Tim Hortons layoffs coincide with launch of new DoubleMeat Breakfast Sandwich
OAKVILLE, ON – Just hours after their parent company Burger King announced layoffs at Tim Hortons HQ, the coffee chain has announced a new, even meatier breakfast sandwich. “DoubleMeat mean…
Beer Store offers craft brewers opportunity to buy their children back
TORONTO – In the wake of lawsuits threatening their monopoly on beer sales in Ontario, The Beer Store is extending an olive branch to craft brewers, by offering them the chance to buy their…
I wish my Australian roommate would quit calling me a cunt all the time
By: Steve Baerwald Do you have problems with your roommates? Do they come home late and make a lot of noise? Do they use up all the hot water? Do they call you a cunt? No? Mine does. He’s always …
Quiz: Which Thomson or Thompson from Thomson and Thompson are you?
You got: Thompson…
Canadian special forces train Iraqis how to camouflage combat operations as training missions
BAGHDAD – Members of Canada’s elite JTF 2 are busy training Iraqi soldiers in how to disguise combat operations as training missions in a base outside of Baghdad. “We are teaching the Iraqi…
Rich, handsome bachelor secretly very unhappy, hopefully
WHISTLER, B.C. – Colleagues and casual acquaintances have agreed that, despite immense wealth and the jaw line of a young George Clooney, local man Hunt Delaney is probably quite sad and lo…
NYPD angered by de Blasio’s inability to stop snowstorm
NEW YORK – As New York City is buffeted by a blizzard of massive proportions, the NYPD is once again taking Mayor Bill de Blasio to task for his inability to prevent disaster. “This snowsto…
Mulcair: An NDP federal government has never run a deficit
OTTAWA – NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair is touting his party’s experience as sound fiscal managers by promoting the fact that his party has never run a federal deficit. “The New Democratic Party…
If God wanted us to die with dignity he wouldn’t have revoked Dying with Dignity’s charity status
BY: FATHER MATTHEW O’REILLY Over the past few decades I have been pained to see Canada straying into Godlessness, from allowing abortions to letting the gays marry. Finally, however, the Harper g…
