Blackberry to stop making phones, transition into palm pilots
WATERLOO – After struggling to keep sales up, Blackberry has decided it will cease making its keyboard phone so it can shift focus to manufacturing palm pilots. “Based on our 2015 research,…
Trudeau approves Pacific NorthWest LNG Pipeline, citing future job growth in disaster relief sector
Richmond, BC – The federal government has approved the $36 Billion Pacific NorthWest Liquefied Natural Gas project; an investment which is expected to eventually produce thousands of disast…
New fashion trend: turning your cut off jeans into jeans
VANCOUVER – It’s the hottest thing since ‘reverse belts’, but women across Canada are now obsessed with transforming their cut-off jeans into full-length pants. “I call them shlongs”, gushe…
Bombardier completes first delivery of horse-drawn omnibuses to TTC
TORONTO – After more than a century of delays, the TTC has received the new omnibuses it ordered to replace the aging wagons used on the Cabbagetown – St. Lawrence line. “These new om…
Montreal Mayor Denis Coderre mauled by pit bull owners
MONTREAL – Police and paramedics were called to Montreal City Hall where Mayor Denis Coderre was mauled by a group of pit bull owners protesting the breed’s ban within the city. “I heard lo…
Environment Canada requests additional funding to replace obsolete wildlife
OTTAWA – Following a disappointing lack of innovation in both the flora and fauna sectors, Environment Minister Catherine McKenna has requested additional federal funds to improve Canada…
Royals visit charity to raise awareness about Royals
Kelowna, BC – The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge took time out of their busy schedule to visit a homeless shelter to raise awareness about the Royal Family among the country’s most vulnerabl…
Journalists criticize Clinton for not moderating debate
Hempstead, NY – Following the first debate of the 2016 United States presidential race, members of the media are furious that Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton for failing to moderate the …
Prince George: “That Trudeau prick needed to get knocked down a peg or two”
VANCOUVER – Prince George, the son of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, clarified that he refused to high-five Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to “knock the peasant hero down a peg.…
Prince William bags elusive spirit bear on visit to Great Bear Rainforest
Bella Bella, BC – The Duke of Cambridge bagged a large Kermode bear while big game hunting in BC’s Great Bear Rainforest earlier today. Despite poor weather conditions for hunting, the Prin…
