Sir John A. Macdonald balances budget after returning empties
An excerpt from The Beaverton Presents Glorious and/or Free: The True History of Canada. Available where books are sold. OTTAWA — Prime Minister Sir John A. Macdonald has balanced the nation’s tr…
After jumping in the polls, Kathleen Wynne’s Liberals promise to govern every year like its an election year
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
West Ontario ekes out curling win against East Southern Southwest Ontario
PORT COLBORNE, ON – Gutting out an underdog victory in an emotionally-charged nail-biter of a game, West Ontario has out-curled their arch-rivals, East Southern Southwest Ontario. “Tough ga…
Trudeau fail: PM appoints a 205-year-old German classical composer as Chief Justice
According to every major news outlet in Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has appointed Richard Wagner – the classical composer – as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Trudea…
Pope Francis makes Taco Bell a sin after spending all morning in bathroom
VATICAN CITY- Officially recognized by the Catholic church as of this morning; the sale, consumption, or creation of any Taco Bell products will now be considered a mortal sin on par with murder …
Site C: BC NDP remind disappointed supporters they’re still committed to working with, flooding First Nations
VICTORIA – In attempt to ease some public disappointment in his decision to go forward with the Site C Dam, BC Premier John Horgan has said that his government is still committed to working…
Trudeau returns from Asia trip with tattoo reading “terrible negotiator”
OTTAWA — Sources inside the PMO reveal that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been showing off a “cool new tattoo” he received during his economic trip in China, completely unaware that it …
Neighbours outraged by proposed two-storey building in downtown Toronto
An excerpt from The Beaverton Presents Glorious and/or Free: The True History of Canada. Available where books are sold. November 29th, 1834 TORONTO — Indignant citizens of the newly renamed Toro…
REPORT: More people make podcasts than listen to them
OTTAWA – The number of people producing podcasts is now far greater than the number of people who listen to them, according to a recent report. According to the report’s authors, this…
Toronto continues to win championships in not hockey
TORONTO – With the TFC winning its first MLS championship at BMO Field on Saturday evening, Toronto has continued its longtime tradition of winning championships in anything other than hock…
