Report: Patrick Brown regrets not having paid attention to Ontario’s new sex-ed curriculum on consent
TORONTO – Former Ontario PC Leader Patrick Brown is kicking himself after failing to read and understand the meaning of consent as described in Ontario’s sex education curriculum updated in…
Nuclear scientists move doomsday clock to “drinkin’ time”
CHICAGO, IL – In response to the new nuclear posture of the United States, along with the lack of evidence based decision making mechanisms in place, the members of the Bulletin of the Atom…
Meet the civil servants working tirelessly to ensure Justin Trudeau keeps going viral
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Oscars extend speech length so male winners have time to apologize for their actions
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Sad man with no ideas sits in café
VICTORIA — Following three hours of browsing the internet at Second Cup, aspiring writer Jeffrey Burgess sadly continues to have no ideas. “Getting out of the house helps open up my mind”, said B…
Canada ranked number 1 in list of countries that care the most about international rankings
TORONTO – Canada is taking the number 1 spot once again this year on US News and World Report’s annual ranking of the countries on Earth that care the most about international rankings. It’…
Canadian excellence! Nearly 80% of the Oscar-nominated films have been watched by someone in Canada
We should all be very proud of our nation’s contributions to the Oscar nominations because nearly 4/5ths of all Oscar nominated films have been seen by someone in Canada. Yes, some hardworking an…
In historic moment of bipartisanship Congress comes together to end shutdown for three whole weeks
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Silicon Valley tech bro accidentally reinvents the guillotine
San Francisco – A Silicon Valley startup is expressing regret today after realizing their groundbreaking smart device is a reinvention of the guillotine. “I didn’t realize I was inventing t…
Told you so: How the minimum wage hike sank my Tiki-themed casket store
Well, here we are, just weeks into Kathleen Wynne’s small business killing minimum wage hike fiasco, and just as I predicted, my Tiki-themed casket store is closing its doors for good. Right from…
