Trudeau: “Countries (except Canada) must be held accountable for unmarked, mass graves”
LONDON, UK — Following the discovery of unmarked mass graves in Ukraine Prime Minister Justin Trudeau showed no tolerance for Russian President Vladimir Putin, declaring “Any country (besides Can…
I know we’ve called every Conservative Leader for the last 7 years a right-wing extremist, but this time we mean it
By Justin Trudeau As you know The Conservative Party of Canada has selected Pierre Poilievre as their new Party Leader. Unfortunately I have to warn you that Mr. Poilievre is a dangerous right-wi…
Conservatives oppose NDP-Liberal Dental Care Plan with proposed “fuck you, let ‘em rot” plan
OTTAWA – In an unsurprising move, the Conservative Party of Canada have opposed a potential NDP-Liberal universal dental care plan, and instead proposing their own “fuck you, let ‘em rot” p…
Shocking Grand Theft Auto VI leak reveals new game set in Regina
REGINA – A massive leak of footage from Grand Theft Auto VI has surprised gamers by revealing that the game will be set in a thinly disguised proxy of Regina, Saskatchewan. Videos posted on YouTu…
Trudeau: It’s too difficult to abolish the monarchy, we need to focus on other difficult things we also won’t do
LONDON, U.K. – When asked this week if the death of Queen Elizabeth II would result in Canada finally removing its foreign head of state, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was adamant that Cana…
Lisa LaFlamme enjoys reporting on life of woman who got to keep job beyond age 58
LONDON – City TV News special correspondent Lisa LaFlamme is said to be enjoying her new role covering the life and career of a woman who was able to stay in her position well past the age …
Canada to honour the Queen by shutting off all hospital ventilators for 96 seconds
OTTAWA – In addition to a federal holiday, transit pauses, and school and court closures, Canada plans to carry out an extra tribute to its beloved former head of state during her funeral b…
25% off sale on pants actually just regular price capris
TORONTO – Controversy arose this week at a downtown location of the popular retailer Urban Outfitters, as a “25% Off Pants” sale was revealed to be a rack of regularly priced capri pants. Shopper…
Doug Ford declares Monday September 19th “Cry At Your Desk Day”
TORONTO — After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced yesterday that September 19th would be a nationwide holiday to commemorate the death of Queen Elizabeth II, Ontario Premier Doug Ford…
1,392 Shoppers Drug Mart locations tie for “worst”
BRAMPTON — The results of a customer satisfaction survey have revealed that all 1,392 Shoppers Drug Mart locations have tied for worst. This data vindicates millions of Canadians who have long-to…
