STUDY: You’re the only uggo in this Pilates class

SWITZERLAND – A new study published in Nature has confirmed what scientists have long suspected — in this Pilates class, you are the only uggo.  Scientists conducted the seconds-long experiment t…

Canada announces tax-free grocery savings account

OTTAWA – As part of their latest budget, the Trudeau Liberals have announced an additional measure to help financially squeezed Canadians: a new tax free savings account to help Canadians s…

Highlights of the Liberal’s 2023 Budget

Holy motherfucking shit it’s Budget season! The time when the government announces how it will spend all our money and we all pretend to understand the difference between the debt and the d…

Crazy! Latest mass shooting ridiculously blamed on easy access to things that shoot

U.S.A. – In another ‘you have to read it to believe it’ situation, a few wacky experts are blaming the latest mass shooting on the shooter’s easy access to things that shoot. Seriously! I mean, w…

Loblaws CEO blames record breaking profits on newfound popularity of food

Toronto, ON – Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr. has recently explained to politicians on Parliament Hill that his record-breaking profits during difficult economic times are only due to Canadian…

Motherfucking genius blows everyone’s minds by informing them that the book was better

ST. JOHN’S – Duke Street resident Sheila Reynolds caused a stir today, after declaring that the recent Oscar-winning film Women Talking was an inferior product when compared to the novel on…

NHL fan singing national anthem, honouring soldier with standing ovation thinks Pride Nights are too political

TORONTO – As the debate rages over NHL players refusing to wear Pride jerseys a number of fans have come forward and said they think the Pride Nights are an unwelcome injection of politics …

Local man totally enthusiastic about using new paper straw until about ¾ of the way through his drink

KITCHENER – Local carpenter and casual environmentalist Kai Ambrose has announced he’s really excited about using a disposable, paper straw for his recently purchased soft drink, blissfully unawa…

Alarming new IPCC report released and you’ve already stopped reading this headline

GENEVA – This week (or maybe it was last week, or the week before, it doesn’t really matter) the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released their latest report detailing the ho…

Trudeau hails Biden visit as unique opportunity to bilaterally move the Press off the China story

OTTAWA – As U.S. President Joe Biden arrives in Ottawa for the start of a two-day visit, PM Justin Trudeau says the trip offers a wonderful chance for the two nations to work together on im…