LONDON, UK – An early preview of the 2021 edition of the Guinness Book of World Records suggests that the reference book will be much more grim than previous volumes, owing to the nature of…
World
Russian opposition leader Navalny will get fair trial, says head judge Vladimir Rutin
MOSCOW – Following the arrest of frequent Vladimir Putin critic Alexei Navalny, skeptics have been assured that the upcoming trial will be fair and impartial, according to newly-appointed h…
Cheers turn to silent horror as New Year’s countdown reads -1, -2, -3
NEW YORK — Excited cheers rang out over a much sparser but still festive Times Square Thursday evening as the few onsite personnel gathered to bid farewell to 2020. But the usual joyful chants of…
Milky Way galaxy shut down after discovery of human fighting ring
ANDROMEDA – The Intergalactic Law Enforcement Bureau (ILEB) has announced an immediate seizure and shutdown of the nearby Milky Way galaxy upon discovering the presence of a long-running hu…
Pope Francis supports gay civil unions in an attempt to bring Catholicism into the ‘90s
VATICAN CITY – Speaking in a new documentary, Pope Francis has revealed his support for legal recognition of same-sex civil unions as part of his revolutionary plan to make the Roman Cathol…
Entire world stocking up on celebration champagne “for no reason, just in case”
EARTH – Across the globe sales of champagne, a beverage commonly associated with celebrating good news, have spiked, with customers insisting it’s “not for any particular occasion” while si…
Global security threat infects global security threat
WASHINGTON – A dangerous threat to global stability and human health announced he has contracted a dangerous threat to global stability and human health. The deadly pair have ruined nationa…
BREAKING: Archaeologists uncover the ballot that killed Adolf Hitler
BERLIN ─ After 85 years of searching, a team of archaeologists have finally uncovered what they believe to be the single ballot that killed Adolf Hitler. “This is simply astonishing work,” lead p…
Parents no longer consoling kids with: ‘it’s not the end of the world’
TORONTO – Parents across the planet have been racking their brains for new ways to calm their distressed children after realizing that the commonly used phrase: “it’s not the end of the world” no…
UN charity asks world to donate cell phone data to needy Canadians
NEW YORK – The UN General Assembly has approved a new development fund, which is calling upon countries to donate their cell phone data to a needy Canadian. “The United Nations Data Relief …
