OTTAWA, ON- The Canadian government announced it would continue to support Ukrainian forces by sending an entire shipping container of duct tape to the embattled nation to aid in the repairs to t…
World
British Empire begs Sun to set on it
LONDON — As a record-setting heat wave sets Europe ablaze, the UK has reported its hottest day-time temperature ever recorded, leading many of its inhabitants to cry out at the sky pleading for …
Putin determines cyber attack against Canada not necessary since Rogers is far more effective
MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin has determined that allowing the existence of Rogers Telecommunications as a major provider in Canada is much better than launching a cyber attack …
Boris Johnson leaves yet another party disheveled and without a clue what’s going on
LONDON, UK — After numerous calls for his resignation, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has finally stumbled out of the Conservative Party despite not understanding what he did to piss everyo…
Queen Elizabeth announces plan to outlive Charles, “no matter what it takes”
LONDON, UK – In a rare candid interview this week, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II announced her formal plan to outlive heir to the throne Prince Charles, “no matter the dark deeds required.…
Canada celebrates Asian Heritage Month as Asia celebrates May
VANCOUVER — Canada is celebrating the history of Canadians of Asian heritage this month while on the other side of the world, Asia celebrates yet another May. 2022 marks the 20th anniversary of t…
Toronto Police launch task force to send guns from Toronto to Ukraine
TORONTO – In an effort to help Ukraine in the ongoing war with Russia, Toronto Police announced yesterday that they will be launching a special task force that will look to recover illegal …
Experts admit world just going to have to learn to live with seasonal outbreaks of Vladimir Putin
GENEVA – In a long expected admission by assembled health and safety representatives, citizens of countries across the world have been informed that we are all just going to have to endure regula…
Macron credits French election win to being “marginally better than fascism”
PARIS – Emmanuel Macron has defeated Marine Le Pen to win 5 more years as President of France, and credits his victory to representing an “almost negligible improvement over the only other …
Sleeping cat literally has no idea how clue how close it is to nuclear annihilation
LUNENBURG, NS – Despite tensions increasing across the globe as Russian president Vladimir Putin again promised swift retaliation and total nuclear annihilation should NATO forces intervene…
