EDITORIAL by Robert Mueller, former FBI Director As special counsel for the Department of Justice, I’m aware that the details of my investigation into the Trump campaign are vague. The ver…
Opinion
Help! A tall, bald man appears in my house every time I mop the floor
You’re not going to believe this, and I’m scared to even admit it, but every time I mop my kitchen floor, a hairless man with an earring, dressed entirely in white. I first noticed three months a…
Help! I don’t know I’m a terrible parent!
Oh boy, am I in over my head! And the worst part about it? I don’t even realize it. Here I am, in the grocery store, when one of my kids asks me question. You know, the kind of basic question tha…
How long will Zimbabwe have to wait for its first female maniacal despot?
By: Rebecca Birch, President of the International Society for Enfranchisement of Women Dictators For a beautiful fleeting moment after Robert Mugabe announced plans to step down, and before he wa…
Opinion: Stop offering me coffee – I’m just here to charge my phone, laptop and car
By: Tad Arlington Coffee shops just don’t know when to quit, do they? Not only are they popping up on every corner, and regularly raising their already abhorrent prices, but they also incessantly…
Don’t we all own at least one property we forget about?
BY: BILL MORNEAU, MINISTER OF FINANCE When we formed the government the Prime Minister and I were determined to put the politics of division behind us and bring the country together. We did that …
Dear Babysitter: Here’s a quick summary of the lies we’ve told our children
Hi Babysitter! Thanks for coming over and taking care of our little ones! They are our pride and joy. Raising them to be responsible citizens has been quite the adventure! In the course of raisin…
Point/Counterpoint: “There are plenty of fish in the sea” VS. “Actually, there AREN’T plenty of fish in the sea”
POINT: There are plenty of fish in the sea By Crystal Benjamin, best friend Hey, listen, I know it hurts. Right now you feel like you might never love again. But the truth is, there are plenty of…
3 reasons I WASN’T “owned” when Johnny Cage splits-punched me in the genitals
BY GORO, PRINCE OF SHOKAN By now I’m sure you’ve seen the video, and had a good laugh about how my confrontation with liberal celebrity Johnny Cage at the Mortal Kombat tournament ended with him …
Am I the only one currently rubbing cocoa butter on myself while listening to “Careless Whisper?”
By: CHRISTINE NEWMAN At first, staying in on Saturday night seemed like a boring time, a classic party for one. But to my surprise, after having a bath I ended up rubbing cocoa butter on myself w…
