NIPIGON RIVER, ON — Thirteen-year-old Jacob Darville and his father, Gordon Darville, were condemned to an additional two days of excruciating silence, Sunday, after a key section of their …
National
NDP orders Mulcair to take a few online leadership courses at Athabasca University
OTTAWA — After an election defeat that reduced his party’s seats from 95 to 44, NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair has been ordered to take online courses in leadership, management and organizationa…
6-year-old placed on travel security list for radical beliefs in Santa Claus
Canadian born 6-year-old Syed Adam Ahmed has been placed on a travel security risk list following the revelation of his radical beliefs in Santa Claus. Markham resident Ahmed was labelled DHP, or…
Vancouver makes New Year’s Resolution to stop tempting gods with mortal hubris
VANCOUVER – In the wake of a magnitude 4.9 earthquake that struck the BC coast late Tuesday night, Vancouver City Council has unanimously passed a New Year’s Resolution to avoid invoking the wrat…
Liberals caught transporting planes full of mannequins to meet refugee intake targets
OTTAWA – In a stunning scandal which has caught the eye of people from all sides of the political spectrum, 12 recently landed planes supposedly carrying Syrian refugees have been revealed to be …
Rescue workers untangle Ralph Goodale from giant ball of Christmas lights
OTTAWA — Rescue workers rushed to Parliament Hill earlier today after Minister of Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness Ralph Goodale managed to entangle himself in a giant ball of Christmas l…
Public Service Orientation for new employees to phase out hazing rituals
OTTAWA — The organization responsible for Canada’s Public Service has announced that it will no longer require new civil servants to be initiated through humiliating forms of abuse and hara…
Canadians concerned majority of refugees haven’t been hugged yet
MONTREAL — An Ipsos-Reid poll of over 1,000 Canadians indicates that a majority of Canadians feel the 25,000 Syrian refugees have not received proper hugs. 63% of Canadians expressed some o…
Syrian refugees successfully integrate into Canadian culture, already hate Toronto
TORONTO – A group of Syrian refugees are being lauded for assimilating so quickly into Canadian culture after they immediately identified and lambasted all of the things that suck about Tor…
Conservatives demand to know how Trudeau will pay for “human dignity” promised to Aboriginals
OTTAWA — Interim Conservative leader Rona Ambrose and her MPs are demanding to know how the Liberal government will be able to afford treating indigenous people of Canada with human dignity…
