OTTAWA – The federal government has made one final request to 50 wastepaper workers with intellectual disabilities before they are laid off and the work given to more expensive private comp…
National
CSIS oversight committee moves into new quarters at YMCA
OTTAWA – Responsible for overseeing the newly expanded powers of the Canadian spy agency CSIS, the Security Intelligence Review Committee has just moved into a 240 square-foot office comple…
Health Minister to allow 3-parent babies as long as she is one of the parents
OTTAWA – A medical procedure that would give children the cellular material of three parents has been legalized, as long as one of the parents is Health Minister Rona Ambrose. “This bill wi…
Report: Nation’s dads still in the bathroom
CANADA – Reports are coming in from across the nation confirming that, despite taking more than enough time, Canada’s fathers have yet to exit the bathroom. “We don’t want to alarm anyone, …
Tory MP Larry Miller apologizes for racist comments which he still stands by and does not apologize for
OWEN SOUND – Conservative MP Larry Miller has apologized for telling women wearing the niqab to “stay the hell where you came from”, a claim which he refuses to apologize for. “My comments …
Stephen Harper extends Canada’s arctic territory by peeing on North Pole
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced today that the United Nations has accepted his proposed extension to Canada’s arctic border after providing proof that he had urinated on th…
New ‘Q’ host’s first interview will be all his former sexual partners
TORONTO – After announcing that hip hop artist Shad will be the new host for ‘Q’, the CBC has confirmed that his first interview will be every person with whom he has any sort of sexual his…
Harper defends women’s rights by telling them what to wear
OTTAWA – Canada’s Prime Minister and staunch women’s rights ally Stephen Harper is defending women’s rights by dictating what the can and cannot wear during citizenship ceremonies. “The niq…
‘Holocaust began with words’ claims minister defending large stack of words
OTTAWA – In a press conference on Tuesday, Public Safety Minister Steven Blaney claimed that “the Holocaust did not begin in the gas chambers, it began with words,” in defense of Bill C-51, a doc…
Tory MP assures Canadians that his racism is merely institutional
OTTAWA – Conservative MP John Williamson has reassured the public that his comments regarding temporary foreign workers did not reflect his own personal views and was merely expressing raci…
