OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper defended his current chief of staff’s involvement in the Duffy affair stating that he’s still got plenty of time before authorities catch up to him. H…
National
Mulcair hastily flushes pot legislation down toilet after parents come home early
OTTAWA – After being surprised by his parents early arrival, NDP leader Thomas Mulcair was forced to dispose of his draft for a marijuana legalization bill. “Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” said Mulcair…
Public servant fired for standing near election sign
OTTAWA — Making good on the promise to crack down on public servants participating in politics, the Department of Justice has fired a federal civil servant for standing too close to an elec…
Chris Alexander hosts annual draw to see which ethnic group not welcome in Canada
OTTAWA – In one of the most glamorous events of Ottawa’s annual social calendar, Immigration minister Chris Alexander has chosen by lottery which ethnic group will no longer be welcome in C…
Liberal Party offers all platinum donors ‘night of passion’ with Justin Trudeau
Ottawa – In a fundraising email sent over the weekend, Liberal Party revenue officer Stephen Bronfman promised every donor who contributed over $1000.00 a lengthy and sensual one on one mee…
Inmate Del Mastro caught trading cigarettes for votes
BATH, ON – Corrections officials say former Conservative MP and ethics spokesperson Dean Del Mastro has spent his current prison sentence bribing prisoners to vote Conservative with cigaret…
NDP: ‘$17/hour’ in English translates to ‘$15/hour’ in French, ‘$13/hour’ in Punjabi
MONTREAL – NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair has informed the media that the wage gap between party campaign workers is just how $17 per hour in English translates differently into French and Punja…
Wright clarifies that Harper’s “good to go” meant he’s “DTF”
OTTAWA – Former PMO chief of staff Nigel Wright testified Wednesday that Stephen Harper’s now-infamous “good to go” email was not an endorsement of Wright’s plan to reimburse suspended Senator Mi…
Harper proposes travel ban on Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside
VANCOUVER — Vowing to keep Canadians safe, Prime Minister Stephen Harper promised to criminalize travelling to Vancouver’s notorious East Hasting Street. Harper made the announcement wearin…
Tory travel ban successfully forces extremist to book connecting flight out of Frankfurt
GERMANY – A new initiative by the Tory government seeking to outlaw travel to nations with terrorist activity has successfully forced 27 year-old extremist, Fadi Zubeidi, to book a non-dire…
