CALGARY – A bartender at a cocktail joint called the Top Hat is about to charge you an exorbitant sum for a two-ingredient drink, according to tipsy sources who are feeling ripped off. “So this …
Local
Dad who always insists his family get to the airport six hours early grateful his time has come
Whitby, ON – Local father Winston Brown, who has always insisted his family arrive at Toronto Pearson airport no less than 6 hours before their flight’s scheduled departure time, took…
Every garage sale in neighbourhood full of lightly used podcasting equipment
EDMONTON – According to local sources in an Edmonton suburb, every garage sale being held this year has contained piles of near mint condition podcasting equipment. “I’ve been hoping to score som…
Local man still has no idea what Dad did for a living
TORONTO – 42-year-old Trey Martinez admits that after all these years, he still doesn’t understand exactly “what the hell [his] dad did as a career.” “It started back in grade 5 when my dad gave …
Spouting off entire resume deemed acceptable response to “how’ve you been?”
TORONTO – As Canadians begin socializing in-person again, The Canadian Board of Acceptable Social Norms (CBASN) has added spouting off a detailed account of your entire resume, including re…
Toddler better at using iPad than local man is at doing anything
Regina, SK – Local man Michael Edugyan has realized that the 3 year old toddler seated near him at this restaurant is better at using her iPad than he is at doing everything in his life. &#…
Guy who bought electric car last year struggling not to be smug about gas prices
TORONTO – Chris Landon, who bought a Kia Niro EV in early 2021 is trying real hard not to be a smug piece of shit when his friends and colleagues talk about how terrible gas prices are. …
Website you use to drunkenly order pizza requires stronger password than website you use to control all your money
Moncton, NB – Local man Dave Hollings was confused and a little concerned to discover that the password he uses to access a website where literally every dollar he has can be transferred aw…
Kids play house by having their imaginary friend price them out of the market
EDMONTON – Eight-year-old Mason Wright and seven-year-old Olivia Glass have been busy playing house all afternoon by pretending to have their hearts set on a property, only for Mason’s imaginary …
Urban obstacle course installed for men to jump high and touch stuff
TORONTO – City officials cut the ribbon on the Parks Department’s most recent project this weekend; an urban obstacle course where men can jump real high and touch stuff. The course resemb…
