VANCOUVER – This Thanksgiving anti-vaxx family, the Millers, announced that they’ll be giving thanks for all the extra leftovers after several family members passed away from Covid-19 this …
Holidays
Questions remain as regular hayride suddenly rebranded as haunted hayride
Vaughan ON – Many longtime patrons are still wondering what motivated Friendly Farmer John’s Hayrides to abruptly change their name to Farmer John’s Haunted Hayride. “I a…
Queen ant gets 27,000 cards for Mother’s Day
BRANTFORD, ON – The queen of a local ant colony awoke on Mother’s Day to find herself bombarded with thousands upon thousands of cards from her children. “Thank you, Anthony, that’s very sweet,” …
Health-conscious man only eats the Cadbury Creme Egg whites
VANCOUVER – Vowing to get back on track after weeks of dubious eating, 26-year-old UX designer Landon Renault reaffirmed his commitment to leading a healthier lifestyle by only consuming th…
Chaos in streets after all traffic lights turned green for St. Patrick’s Day
TORONTO – Several multi-car pile-ups and other severe crashes are being reported at nearly every major intersection in Toronto, after the city set all the traffic lights to remain green in …
5 tips to make your Valentine’s Day as hot and steamy as St. Valentine’s execution
Today is the day of love, where we slow down our normal routine, take a moment, and cherish those we love. Whether it’s a partner, spouse, or just a friend with benefits, we all know the thrill o…
5 ways to spot which Facebook friend is about to post a think piece on why “Valentine’s Day is a capitalistic trap”
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and so is the looming threat of a Facebook post by that friend of yours who needs you to know that you’re scum for celebrating Valentine’s Day! We all k…
Public Health Agency of Canada advises to keep New Year’s kisses “to immediate family only”
OTTAWA – In a desperate attempt to quell the rising spread of COVID-19, the Public Health Agency of Canada put out a notice today warning Canadians against going out to celebrate New Year’s…
Rudolph dies in freak reindeer games accident
BELLEVILLE, ON – Belleville Police have reported that Rudolph the Reindeer (recognizable from his trademark glowing red nose) has been found dead in the parking lot of a local Wal-Mart. Pol…
Dad insistent he won’t use gift he specifically asked for, that you should return it and get something for yourself
REGINA – It was a Rockwell-esque scene Friday morning as Edgar Nyfors surrounded by his family, carefully unwrapped the sole present under the tree with his name. Inside, a Craftsman V20 co…
