NIAGARA FALLS – While the Democrats have fared better than expected in last night’s midterm elections, Health Canada has issued a request this morning that any political refugees stil…
Health
Study: 1 in every 25 people in PEI have Covid-19, and they are: Jim, Paula, Big Jim, and Tina’s boy Ricky
SUMMERSIDE – A Covid-19 wave has washed over Prince Edward Island, leaving one in twenty-five Islanders–or four individual people–currently Covid-positive. “For a long time, we were doing pretty …
Hans Zimmer score added to video feed of colonoscopy
HAMILTON — Long known for their novel approach to the practice of medicine, the Hamilton Endoscopy Centre has made it a standard practice to add Hans Zimmer film score music to the video feed of …
Canada to honour the Queen by shutting off all hospital ventilators for 96 seconds
OTTAWA – In addition to a federal holiday, transit pauses, and school and court closures, Canada plans to carry out an extra tribute to its beloved former head of state during her funeral b…
Ford government gives hospitals the power to send elderly patients to EZ Self Storage
QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Ford’s Ontario PC’s have passed controversial new legislation that could force hospital patients awaiting long-term care to be stored in long-term s…
Ontario announces new “Self Serve” Emergency Rooms
QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario’s hospitals reporting emergency room closures and critical nursing shortages, Premier Doug Ford has announced a new relief plan allowing patients to diagnose the…
REPORT: Loneliness epidemic singled out, ostracized by other epidemics
RICHMOND, BC – As persistent loneliness continues to affect the health of billions, it remains unable to gain acceptance and inclusion from its epidemic peers. “I’ve been harming people’s well-be…
“Why are you still wearing a mask?” asks friend who’s had Covid 3 times
Oshawa, ON – Craig Batherson, your friend from intramural hockey who has gotten Covid nearly every time a new variant has developed, was surprised to see you wearing a mask. “You know…
“We’re all going to get COVID eventually,” says man about to give you HPV
BRIDGEWATER – There’s no point trying to prevent COVID because we’re all just going to get it eventually, says a man who is perhaps only a few hours away from infecting you with human papil…
New Texas laws prevent doctors from life-saving surgeries if cancerous tumour is one of those that grows teeth and hair
AUSTIN, TX – Shortly after the Supreme Court voted to overturn Roe v. Wade, Texas’ new laws against abortion have expanded to also include bans on life saving surgeries of cancerous tumours…
