Brandon, Manitoba – Millions of Canadians live with diabetes, and the Government of Canada has spent billions on diabetes research and treatment. But here’s what I don’t understand: Why do we nee…
Health
REPORT: Ignoring suffering of others linked to optimism
CALGARY, AB – A recent study out of the University of Alberta has come to the startling conclusion that ignoring the suffering of others is linked to having an optimistic view of life. When…
Chill as fuck medicine okay to consume with alcohol
Beaconsfield, QC – A generic store brand prescription medication, Padrazole, is making waves at a local house party after college rugby player, Luke Auden found out the stomach ulcer treati…
Study finds severe health consequences from drinking even one glass of paint a week
VANCOUVER – After years of advising the public to limit their paint drinking, scientists are now suggesting Canadians should avoid the consumption of paint entirely. “Groundbreaking new research …
Local man enjoys mental health day by neglecting physical health
PRINCE ALBERT, SK – Area man Cameron Elliot has reportedly taken the day away from work to focus on his mental health by indulging in his favourite restoration activity; slowly deterioratin…
Running every day is the secret to long life, claim people being chased by lions
Abbotsford, BC – What’s the secret to a long and healthy life? According to those currently being hunted by hungry lions, the trick is running as fast as you possibly can. “Just don’t stop runnin…
Hospitals dropping mask mandates tell patients to stay home if they feel unwell
HAMILTON – The McMaster University Children’s Hospital, along with several other facilities in Southwestern Ontario, announced today that they’re lifting their mask mandates, noting because…
Optometrists finally admit there is no difference between one and two
Welland, ON – In a big win for optometry patients around the country, the nation’s eye doctors have finally come clean, admitting there is no difference between lens number one and lens number tw…
STUDY: You’re the only uggo in this Pilates class
SWITZERLAND – A new study published in Nature has confirmed what scientists have long suspected — in this Pilates class, you are the only uggo. Scientists conducted the seconds-long experiment t…
Medical Experts admit there is no cure for hiccups
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – After years of denial, the global community of medical professionals has finally admitted that they have no scientifically based method to alleviate a case of the hicc…