Whitby, ON – The goldfish that elementary school teacher Lenore Kerdwin acquired in order to acclimatize her students to loss has become irrelevant in light of recent events. “I thoug…
Education
Straight man brags about being only straight man in theatre school
MISSISSAUGA – Local straight man and recent theatre school graduate Michael Gibson has bragged about being the only straight man in his year. “There were about 50 people in my class and of …
Man graduates from university application process
STRATFORD, ON – After an eternal time studying, countless hours researching articles on the nation’s schools, coordinating multiple reviews of student experiences, and many sleepless nights…
Parent sends child to private school so that they can end up at the same universities as everyone else
TORONTO, ONT – Local parents Jillian and Frank Moore have sent their child to private school with the hope that they end up at the same Canadian universities as everyone else. “Education is…
Local highschooler thinks new wallet chain will prove he’s not fucking around this year
CALGARY, AB – Duncan Mckenzie believes the new chain connecting his quicksilver branded wallet to his pants is really going to turn some heads this year. “A lot of kids don’t seem to take m…
Local teacher’s health lesson plan just letting class go home
VAUGHN, ON – With schools resuming classes despite the ongoing pandemic, high school teacher Erin Jorna has decided the most logical plan she can have for health class is to dismiss her stu…
Students spend first day back decorating body bags for grandparents
MISSISSAUGA – In a back to school activity designed to teach about actions having consequences, students spent the afternoon decorating body bags for their grandparents. The art activity wa…
Heartwarming! This kid is scared of her first day of school for regular reasons
Remember those first day of school butterflies? Worrying that you wouldn’t have the right backpack, or make any new friends. Well this tradition is being kept adorably alive as 10-year-old Madiso…
“I want to go to grad school” recognized as a cry for help by the W.H.O.
LONDON, ON- After years of examining the connections between sanity and higher education, chief scientists at the World Health Organization have declared the act of attending grad school an indic…
Single-ply toilet paper industry saved by school re-openings
WINNIPEG – After being dealt a blow by the pandemic-related closures of offices and public washrooms, single-ply toilet paper manufacturers are pinning their recovery to the re-opening of t…