HOLLYWOOD – Justice League fans are raving after Zack Snyder finally releases his perfect cut of the Justice League film which cuts everything except the end credits. “There was just so muc…
Entertainment
Trailer for new Kevin James film confirms: Kevin fall down go boom
Trailers for Kevin James’ latest Netflix film “Bonk if You’re Horny” confirmed that this summer; big dumb toenail Kevin James fall down, much bang, head go boom. Directed by a shook up can of pil…
Kidz Bop writer suffers nervous breakdown after failing to write kid-friendly version of ‘WAP’
PETERBOROUGH – Jeanette Cummings, 41, was rushed to the hospital with symptoms of a total nervous breakdown after being contracted to write a clean, kid-oriented version of Cardi B hit ‘WAP…
1994 film ‘The Mask’ cited as an example of the perils of masks
KITCHENER – The anti-mask group ‘Hugs Over Masks’ is using the 1994 Jim Carrey vehicle The Mask as an example of what can go wrong when people start wearing masks. “This documen…
Ellen comes out as mean
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Following a long period of open rumours, clear public hints and confirmed direct accounts, popular daytime talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has officially come out as mean. Th…
Canadian Army stands down after Schitt’s Creek gets 15 Emmy nominations
OTTAWA – A violent international incident has been averted as the U.S.-based Academy of Television Arts & Sciences recognized the final season of the Canadian TV show Schitt’s Creek wit…
2020 Song of Summer is your colleagues yelling “You’re on mute!”
TORONTO, ON – After several weeks of indecision, it was finally revealed that the official 2020 summer song is your colleagues yelling “You’re On Mute!” Sure to be a classic for years to co…
One Direction reach 10-year anniversary, submit bodies to recycler to make way for fresh crop of heartthrobs
LOS ANGELES – Hit boy-band One Direction are celebrating their 10-year anniversary this week before surrendering their bodies back to the music industry to be recycled. The group was assemb…
Avatar 2 delayed until after Avatar 3
LOS ANGELES – Director James Cameron has announced today that Avatar 2, the long-gestating sequel to his 2009 magnum opus, has been delayed by COVID-19 restrictions, and will not be coming …
The Beaverton’s top five four three two one uncancellable hunks of Hollywood
Guess what, Beav Babes? The annual list you’ve been waiting for is finally here! Every year we assemble a list of five guaranteed unproblematic hot Hollywood hunks that you can crush on, 100% gui…
