DIGBY, NS – After being accused of racism for allowing white fishermen to destroy Indigenous lobster fisheries, the RCMP clarified that they can’t protect anyone regardless of race. “Whoa, …
“Somebody should call the police,” say NS RCMP officers watching van being torched
NEW EDINBURGH, NS – A group of RCMP officers watched helplessly as white lobster fisherman broke into an Indigenous fishery, vandalized property, and set fire to a van. Armed with semi-auto…
Sask Premier Scott Moe leaves scene after colliding with debate
REGINA – Saskatchewan Premier Scott Moe has been reportedly involved in another accident, this time colliding into two debate podiums. The driver plowed through the CBC Saskatchewan galleri…
Alberta Health Minister reduces maximum lifespan to 70
EDMONTON – In a sweeping round of cuts, Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro has revealed a significant reduction in the maximum life span of the province’s citizens. Shandro made the anno…
Digital Thanksgiving: Shortcuts to muting the anti-mask rants of your relatives
Are you tired of hearing about your uncle’s ‘Plandemic’ opinions or how governments are infringing on your aunt’s right to infect other people at the grocery store? Fortunately, digital Thanksgiv…
Woman’s entire personality is IBS
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Friends and family of local woman Ayesha Perera have reported that they are concerned that her personality now consists entirely of speaking about her irritable bowel syndr…
Trump demands release of Michigan terrorists so they can vote for him
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump is demanding the release of 13 members of a terrorist militia that plotted to kidnap Michigan’s Governor calling their arrest an act of voter suppress…
Premier Ford still not convinced flames shooting from neighbour’s house is sufficient evidence to call fire department
TORONTO – Despite heavy smoke and his neighbour screaming “my house is on fire,” Ontario Premier Doug Ford is not ready to call in the fire department. With flames shooting out of the attic…
Breaking: Stanley Cup won 6 days ago
TORONTO OR EDMONTON – Late reports indicate a team has won the NHL’s Stanley Cup nearly a week ago. The two ice hockey squads played four to seven matches sometime in late September for the…
