WINNIPEG – A recent country-wide survey of the nation’s receptionists has revealed that 87% of them agree that Mr. Johannson, Vice President of Marketing and Analytics, is not available at …
Journalist wastes bi-monthly question with Stephen Harper by asking if he could ask a question
LAVAL – National newspaper reporter Eric Hitchens wasted his first chance to ask Stephen Harper a question in over two months by first posing whether it would be acceptable to ask a questio…
Shy man so close to getting his comment in
Red Deer, Alberta – Notoriously shy Red Deer College student Gavin Desautels came incredibly close to getting an anecdote in about Radiohead during a conversation at a friend’s house party.…
Chinese sweatshop workers already hard at work making snow
BEIJING – Mere hours after being awarded the 2022 Olympic Games Chinese officials say government sweatshop workers are already working 18 hour days to make the snow that will be featured ac…
Canadian man buying groceries across the border loses right to vote
NIAGARA FALLS – After a brief shopping excursion into Buffalo, NY, a Canadian man has lost his right to vote in the next federal elections as a result of Canada’s new ex-pat voting la…
Ontario to lower debt by selling Windsor on Kijiji
Queen’s Park – On the heels of S&P’s reduction of Ontario’s credit score, the Liberal Government announced an intention to earn some extra cash by selling the city of Windsor and its 21…
Comedy Network orders Beaverton pilot under implied threat of violence
TORONTO – Cameras started rolling on innovative Canadian independent production company, Pier 21 Films’, comedy pilot based on the popular website The Beaverton, for The Comedy Network afte…
Justin Trudeau tries to avoid looking at portrait of father during annual Parliamentary orgy
OTTAWA – Despite saying he still “enjoyed the experience” and found it “quite rewarding” Liberal leader Justin Trudeau admitted it was a little tough to perform during the annual taxpayer f…
Toronto City Hall demands tighter kickbacks from Uber
TORONTO – In the wake of a crackdown on UberX drivers, city of Toronto officials are demanding that Uber comply with the same stringent code of semi-legal bribery that currently governs the…
Saskatchewan man refuses to lower Confederate flag until someone explains what it means
Craven, Saskatchewan – After many were offended by the dozens of Confederate flags spotted at the Craven Country Jamboree, local man Erik Gibson has refused to remove his flag from his truc…
