Toronto – Producers of beloved satirical website and international television phenomenon The Beaverton announced today that they would be revealing which party had secured the coveted Beave…
Air Canada invokes notwithstanding clause to overturn Air Passenger Bill of Rights
OTTAWA – On the day the landmark Air Passenger Bill of Rights came into effect Canada’s largest airliner, Air Canada, announced it would be invoking the Notwithstanding Clause portion of th…
New summer episodes of The Beaverton to finally lay the smackdown on BBQs and cottage weekends
TORONTO – With its third season premiering July 23rd at 10pm on CTV, and episodes running Tuesdays at 10 throughout the summer, tv satire series The Beaverton is finally being given a chanc…
Report: Ford gov actually shut down to avoid mockery from new episodes of Beaverton tv show
TORONTO – Sources within the Ford administration revealed today that the real reason the government took a sudden, extremely lengthy summer hiatus was to avoid being made of fun by the new …
Canadians continue to await release of Conservative climate change plan
OTTAWA – Despite promises they would release it on June 19th, the federal Conservatives appear to be no closer to releasing their detailed plan for addressing climate change. “Frankly I don…
World in shock after better team wins
TORONTO – In the days after the Toronto Raptors defeated Golden State to win their first NBA championship, sports analysts and fans expressed their disbelief that the Warriors could ever fa…
Man who waited in line for three days to get into Jurassic Park horrified to discover he can just watch game at home
TORONTO – Local man Jerome Dobbins, who has been waiting in line to get into Toronto’s famed Raptors viewing party square since Saturday at 9am, was shocked and quite frankly furious to dis…
Take it from me, an opinion columnist with no expertise, the MMIWG Commission’s use of the term genocide is wrong
By: Hubert Anderson I hate to be the one to say it, because I consider myself a long time supporter of indigenous Canadians. But in my opinion the claim in the MMIWG Final Report that the deaths …
Ford announces cut to planned cuts, maintains future cuts will not be cut
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced that the retroactive cuts he had previously announced to municipal budgets have been cut, but that the future cuts are uncut. “We have cut …
“I couldn’t imagine life without my kids,” says man who looks like complete shit
REGINA – Local man Edward Thompson has told friends, family and several strangers at a Starbucks that life is meaningless without kids, all while looking like an exhausted drug addict who i…
