ETOBICOKE, ON – Yesterday, scientists reported that oh my God, the patio furniture has just been sitting out there all winter, and dammit, it’s probably at least half ruined. Reached for co…
Man frantically enjoying Woody Allen movies while he still can
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Refusing all social invitations and ordering in his meals, local resident Bill Grenley, 32, is reportedly savouring the last few precious moments he has to fully enjoy Wood…
5 perfect holiday tips to make your Christmas ornaments come to life when you leave the room
By Mariah von Birdspell Host of HGTV’s “Transcendental DIY” Like a secret recipe for eggnog or a favourite carol, plenty of us have cherished family traditions for “Zeigvitus,” or the practice o…
Yahoo Mail users confused by revamped features, email in general
WORLDWIDE – Despite the release of numerous online tutorials and step-by step instructions, Yahoo mail users worldwide report extreme confusion around the upgraded design of the email servi…
Wine bar’s “No Dogs” sentiment extremely mutual, say dogs
WHITBY – A small crowd of local dogs gathered on leashes outside of Aule Wine Bar confirmed that the artfully stenciled sign reading “Nee Canes,” which prevents them from enjoying the estab…
Homeless man probably fine
TORONTO – After brief but careful analyses of the clothing, grooming, and language ability of an elderly homeless man who spends hours each day repeatedly walking between the Annex and Park…
Deafening military flyovers of airshow exciting novelty for city that has never been bombed
TORONTO – Following a week of ceremonial flyovers by Canada’s elite Snowbirds, Toronto residents have reported greatly enjoying the noise and spectacle of seeing CT-114 Tutor fighter planes…
