It’s a quandary most of us have had at one point or another. You wake up in the morning, and feel a tingly feeling on your lip. By the time you go to bed, a pustule has started to form. You tell …
Local man judged old enough for parents’ friends to swear around
EDMONTON—Local man Tim Creyer, 27, has reportedly been judged by his parents’ friends to have reached an age old enough for him to hear and participate in conversations using adult language “I wa…
Inspiring! This woman kept a food journal of everything she ate except half of it
Fitness goals! Local woman Isabel Johnson has given us all a little bit of motivation with her commitment to forming better habits. Her approach? Keeping a detailed journal of at least 50% of all…
Louis C.K. scandal only thing keeping local man from jerking off at work right this very second
PETERBOROUGH–Reports have confirmed that the recent scandal around beloved comedian Louis C.K.’s behavior is the one and only thing keeping local man Rick Ergin from rubbing one out at work…
Sex robot makers are buckling to PC pressure and refusing to make one that looks exactly like my mother
By Harold Bilfat In today’s world, self-actualization is valued above all else. Political correctness tells us everyone is special, and we can be whoever we want to be. Yet, on one subject, polit…
Time for Hillary Clinton to move on, but not so much that I can’t project my impotent rage onto her
By Herbert Finderman With the release of her new book, What Happened, Hillary Clinton has shown once again that she is unwilling to do what Americans have wanted her to do for years: get out of p…
Vacation that was 90% eating best two weeks of couple’s relationship
BERMUDA – Reports late last night confirm that the two-week cruise taken by Calgary couple Kyle and Maria Thompson which consisted almost entirely of eating was “the best two weeks of our l…
Spanx releases new shapewear to smooth out unsightly face fat
ATLANTA – In a press conference earlier today, pioneering shapewear company Spanx unveiled a new shapewear product designed to tone and tighten facial fat for a smoother, more put-together look. …
Quiz: Should you have a wedding band, a DJ, or a screaming ghost?
Your big day is coming up soon! So many things to plan, from the food, to the cocktails, to the clothes. But don’t skimp on one important detail—the entertainment! Hiring a wedding band is a sure…
Quebec Maître D’ stunned as enigmatic tourist greets him in his native tongue
MONTREAL — Jon Dubois, maître d’ of Montreal restaurant Le Poirier, reported feeling shocked earlier this week when an charming yet mysterious woman–who had clearly travelled from a f…
