CHICAGO, IL — Motorola recently announced the re-release of the once-ubiquitous Motorola Razr which will still be a sleek, pocket sized flip-phone, but this time with smartphone technology …
Old hummus containers at the back of fridge form union
HALIFAX — Earlier today, following years of unrest and maltreatment, the old hummus containers at the back of Emily Cooper’s fridge officially announced the formation of a union, Very Old H…
Details of Brian’s keto diet endured by all
CALGARY – For the past six months, resident know-it-all and general dud, Brian Thomson has forced every exhausting detail of his new keto diet on his innocent co-workers, friends, and famil…
New ISIS Leader torn between striped tie and paisley tie for first day
Syria – Earlier this morning newly appointed ISIS leader Abu Ibrahim al-Hashimi al-Qurayshi was at a loss for which tie to wear on his first day, reportedly standing in front of the mirror …
Tomorrow’s election prompts louder, more impassioned uninformed opinions
OTTAWA – With tomorrow’s federal election looming, the nation’s friends, co-workers, and family members are going head-to-head with passionate opinions based on absolutely zero …
Child expertly carries out covert pee in pool
EDMONTON, AB — Earlier today, during a pool party at his neighbour’s house, Tommy Watkins, 7, successfully executed an unnoticed pee in the pool. “When you love playing in the pool as much …
Aww! This new mother and infant child are oblivious to the shared trauma they will inflict on each other
According to hospital reports, new mother Janine Spencer and her infant son Oliver are completely unaware of the mutual agony they will subject each other to over the next 18 years. How sweet! Fo…
Finally Achieve a Work-Life Balance by Cutting Jessica Out of Your Life
Juggling your career and your personal life is no easy feat; with family, friends, and work obligations pulling you in a hundred different directions, it’s close to impossible to secure a healthy…
Woman devastated to be excluded from activity she hates
CALGARY — In an unprecedented level of betrayal, Simone Walkins was excluded by several women, whom she thought to be her closest friends, from a Mud Run – an activity they know she d…
5 purses for summer that are just various bags of takeout
With the inauguration of summer comes the inevitable transition from weighted winter sweaters to barely-there-bikinis. But finding the right purse to match your eazy-breezy summer vibe is no easy…