BRANDON, MB – Seeing as it’s been a good five or ten minutes since he lit his Roman candle, local dad Brook Jensen reports that he’s “almost certain” that the shell …
WEATHER ADVISORY: Municipal corruption front moves eastward
If you reside in Québec or the Maritime provinces, it’s time to take out your windbreaker and check your umbrella for crooked spokes, because a large air mass of civic malfeasance is moving…
Local atheist converted by hot Jehovah’s Witness
REGINA – Despite having spent most of his life professing his antipathy for Abrahamic religions and staunchly denying the existence of any sort of deity, yesterday local atheist Hank Tremb…
Nation celebrates end of Rob Ford Awareness Month
TORONTO – Closing ceremonies were held at Toronto City Hall late into yesterday night to mark the end of Rob Ford Awareness Month. The month-long observance successfully brought to the worl…
Chief Blair: Agent Ford successfully infiltrates drug ring
TORONTO – Calling to an end an elaborate three-year undercover operation, Toronto police chief Bill Blair announced today that special agent Rob Ford has uncovered a major drug ring in the city&#…
Canada opts for pull-out method instead of environmental protection
OTTAWA – After withdrawing from a UN anti-drought convention late last month, the Harper government announced today that it will rely on the pull-out method as its default policy for future envir…
None of this would have happened had you flossed
By Dr. W. Scott Harrington Look, we’ve been through this many times: brush your teeth in the morning and at night, don’t eat sugary foods and floss daily. I hate to sound like a broke…
Hyphen fails to become dash
TORONTO – While working late into the evening on an overdue philosophy essay using Microsoft Word, university student Michael Stefanescu’s hyphen failed to become a dash. “Lette…