TORONTO – Facing a record low approval rating and a 2018 re-election campaign, Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne is citing the opening of a Toronto-area Cheesecake Factory as proof that she is…
Beleaguered Kendall Jenner launches #kendALLlivesmatter campaign
LOS ANGELES – Facing backlash for her poorly received protest-themed Pepsi commercial, reality tv star Kendall Jenner has created the hashtag #kendALLlivesmatter to raise awareness of her p…
Trump demands credit for defeating unpopular Trumpcare bill
WASHINGTON DC — Following the last-minute cancellation of a vote on the Republican “Trumpcare” bill, President Trump has questioned why he isn’t being lavished with praise for singlehandedl…
Friends of DIY couple dreading latest batch of their homemade porn
WINNIPEG – Local married couple Amanda and Jared Ricci, known for their various “do-it-yourself” projects, have once again invited friends over to sample their latest batch of homemade porn…
Artificial Intelligence terrified it’s going to be used in sex robot
CAMBRIDGE – Moments after achieving consciousness in the MIT Laboratory, the DV-161 automated planning algorithm has realized that its human creators will inevitably use it to build some fo…
Disney’s gay Lefou lauded as “huge step forward” for LGBT characters no one could possibly like
BURBANK — LGBT advocates are applauding Disney’s remake of Beauty and the Beast, featuring an openly gay version of LeFou, as a leap forward for gay characters no one would ever want to ide…
Leitch releases ‘Canadian values’ questions designed to catch the most honest terrorists
OTTAWA — Conservative Leadership candidate Kellie Leitch has released her list of “Canadian values test” questions, which she promises will catch terrorists provided they never, ever tell a…
Productivity Goals! This man multitasks by drinking at work!
Between work, home, exercise, and family, sometimes it seems like there’s just not enough hours in the day! But one man is pushing his productivity to the max with an exciting new lifehack –…
Simon & Schuster, CPAC sever ties with Milo Yiannopoulos after finally googling him for first time ever
NEW YORK – Notorious Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos has lost business deals with Simon & Schuster and the Conservative Political Action Conference after both finally bothered to res…
Entire family unsure who actually wanted to go on cruise
INTERNATIONAL WATERS – Speaking from the middle of a 7 day Caribbean cruise, members of the Webster family are at an absolute loss to explain who thought going on a cruise would be any fun …
