PALO ALTO, CA — Facebook, iTunes, YouTube, and Spotify have announced that they will drop Alex Jones’ broadcasts effective immediately, as part of an effort to do nothing whatsoever to prev…
Suspicious unattended bag just happy to be noticed
CALGARY — Doing its best to remain humble, a Dunlop overnight bag left unattended at the city’s International Airport is reportedly drawn the attention of onlookers as well as the Calgary B…
Faith Goldy promotes diversity by opening up mayoral campaign to Italians
TORONTO — Toronto mayoral candidate and avowed white nationalist Faith Goldy has announced a new ‘diversity initiative’, wherein her campaign will expand its messaging to include Italian vo…
Climate wondering how much it has to change before humans notice
EARTH — After breaking records with sweltering mid-summer temperatures, the Climate for the planet Earth is reportedly at a loss as to how much it needs to change before eliciting any respo…
You won’t believe how far into this ‘millennial homeowner’ piece it takes for us to mention their inheritance!
Canada’s housing market is booming, and so are articles about people born between 1981 and 1996 who have somehow managed to afford homes! Meet Myrna, an industrious young woman who recently paid …
New Ontario Safety Minister reveals he wore bulletproof vest to see Black Panther
TORONTO — Michael Tibollo, the first-time cabinet minister heading Ontario’s anti-racism directorate, informed the legislature that he recently wore a bulletproof vest to a screening of the…
Doug Ford replaces sex-ed curriculum with old copy of Playboy found in woods
TORONTO — Premier Ford announced today that he will scrap the 2015 Sex-Ed curriculum introduced by the Liberals, in favour of a stack of well-worn porno left for students to discover in the…
Pro-Brexit ministers do second smaller Brexit from Parliament
LONDON – Several pro-Brexit Secretaries in the British government have shockingly announced their intentions to stage another “mini Brexit”, this time from their duties in Parliament. Forei…
Trump demands Scott Pruitt resignation citing insufficient corruption
WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump has demanded the resignation of EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt, claiming Pruitt had not shown enough commitment to personal enrichment and graft. De…
Local condo construction stretches on into 2nd or 10th year
TORONTO — Sources report that the condo construction project at the corner of Bathurst St and St. Clair Ave shows no signs of completion after either 2 years or a full decade. Locals report…
