MONTREAL, QC – It was a typical Friday night for Kenneth McPherson as he called a 2 A.M. Uber Share on Montreal’s nightlife-ridden St. Lawrence street. Little did he know, 3 blocks away, on…
Kid taken out of school early shocked by mundanity of adult world
CORNWALL, ON – Jacob Ryland, 4th grader at Rose Elementary, got the best news of his life at 1:48PM last Wednesday when he was asked to pack up his things and go to the office to meet his m…
A&W bottle of Frank’s Red Hot hanging on by a thread
MONTREAL – A local bottle of Frank’s Red Hot nested above the A&W garbage/napkin station appears as though it may shatter into dust with the subtle draft of a Teen burger being removed …
Apple farmers to spend winter relaxing, inventing 50 000 new varieties
Hemmingford, QC – Local apple farmer, Bud Timberson, just finished the last of his deliveries for the season and he’s quite excited about it. “Well my back hurts, my feet hurt, but overall …
Awesome: Your city just opened up a funky new food court where every meal costs 40 dollars
YOUR CITY – Great news! The city with skyrocketing rent prices, barely functional public transportation, and overcrowded hospitals just opened up a funky new upstairs food court with low li…
Woman takes gap year to backpack through The Bay
MONTREAL – At 7:42 PM on Tuesday, McGill University student, Kathleen Beauce, sent an email to her friends, family, and favorite professors detailing her plans to take a year off school to …
REPORT: Piece of tinfoil you cut just a little too small
MONTREAL – A new study has revealed that the piece of tinfoil you thought was big enough to cover a lidless tupperware container is, in fact, not big enough. Researchers from Concordia Uni…
Chill as fuck medicine okay to consume with alcohol
Beaconsfield, QC – A generic store brand prescription medication, Padrazole, is making waves at a local house party after college rugby player, Luke Auden found out the stomach ulcer treati…
In historic first, Dollarama opens second cash
MONTREAL – A local Dollarama defied every expectation and opened a second cash register at the St. Laurent location in the plateau at approximately 3:44 PM on Friday. The register was open…