OTTAWA – Canadian conservatives are throwing heavy criticism at the federal government for mandating passports for international travel. “What a terrible inconvenience our government has in…
James Cameron finishes filming Avatar 4 before realizing he never made Avatar 2 or 3
LOS ANGELES – James Cameron has announced he has finished filming Avatar 4 right after realizing he never made Avatar 2 or Avatar 3. “I cannot wait for everyone to see what I have in store …
Arthur series to end with fan requested “Death of DW” episode
Eldwood City, Pennsylvania – After 25 seasons, the animated children’s series Arthur is finally coming to an end with an ending producers insist “fans will love.” “After 25 seasons, we’ve d…
Opinion: Do women deserve rights?
LOS ANGELES, CA – The newest saga of the Britney Spears conservatorship story presents a very difficult, complex question: Do women deserve rights? For years now, Spears’ legal conservator …
White man listing privileges starting to feel pretty accomplished
VANCOUVER, BC – Part-time twitch streamer Corey McIntosh was in the middle of outlining the unfair privileges he enjoys over others on Facebook when suddenly he began to feel pretty good ab…
Opinion: I steal mail from hot spots so I should get my second dose sooner
Vaccines are hard to come by in Ontario. However, some neighbourhoods have the privilege of getting vaccinations before others purely based on factors I refuse to take time to read about. Lucky f…
Anti-mask rally participants contract strange, airborne disease
TORONTO – Rally participants in an anti-lockdown protest in Toronto on Saturday reported they had become ill with some kind of strange, flu-like virus. “I thought at first I couldn’t breath…
Dissolved Proud Boys rebrand as “Hoity-toity Boys”
OTTAWA – After being designated as a terrorist group by the Canadian government, the Proud Boys have dissolved to rebrand themselves as the “Hoity-toity Boys.” “We are big strong men who do…
Toronto roommates stuck together for another lockdown decide to finally kill Trevor
TORONTO – Local roommates Deborah Maine, Josh Goodman, and Keith Smith have decided to get around to killing their fourth roommate Trevor Lewin after learning they are all stuck with him fo…
Ford recommends lying in order to get vaccine faster
TORONTO – During a recent press conference Premier Doug Ford recommended lying about your personal information in order to get the COVID vaccine faster. “After speaking with my experts, we …
