Jacksonville, FL — Florida resident Dave Peterson has spent the majority of his afternoon desperately watching for potential threats after having a totally regular, non-headline-worthy day.…
Local stalker growing increasingly concerned about your poor dietary habits
TORONTO — Neighbourhood creep Roger Andrews wants you to know that he has been watching you every night for the past six months, and has become extremely worried about your increasingly dec…
Makeup-free woman actually is pretty tired, thank you for noticing
TORONTO – Felicity McMurray, 33, was overwhelmed with gratitude on Monday after she accidentally left the house without makeup and received constant concerned observations about how utterly…
Quiz: Watching a Hallmark Christmas movie or trapped in an upper-middle class white person’s wet dream?
It’s Hallmark Christmas movie season! These films are pure holiday fun, with creative and unique plot lines involving princes, inheritances, fish-out-of-water moments…and that’s it, that’s …
Margaret Atwood confirms Handmaid’s Tale sequel is just original manuscript but with more exclamation points
TORONTO – Margaret Atwood delighted fans of The Handmaid’s Tale this week with the announcement that she is currently penning a sequel. However, the prolific Canadian author quickly clarifi…
Curling team kicked off ice for being too sober
CALGARY — Local curling team, the Cowtown Curly Fries, were ejected from their match at the Calgary Bi-Annual Bonspiel yesterday for showing up to play completely unimpaired. Referee Dan Mi…
Albino Squirrel from Trinity Bellwoods elected to City Council
TORONTO: In the result of an upset victory, Torontonians woke Tuesday morning to a find surprising new member on City Council: one of the white squirrels from Trinity Bellwoods park. “This was my…
