OTTAWA – Realizing the traumatic nature of the current pandemic, Justin Trudeau has sought to further reassure Canadians by delivering his daily address in a whispering tone designed to eli…
Chris Hadfield really milking this “I’ve been to space” thing
TORONTO — Former astronaut and current public figure Chris Hadfield has once again found a way to shoehorn the fact that he spent 166 days outside of the Earth’s atmosphere into the p…
I know Tiger King was messed up, but I’m going to be the right sort of tiger owner
By: Dave Croft I think the documentary Tiger King, by focusing on people like Doc Antle, Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin, has skewed the public’s perception of tiger owners. Most of us are har…
New puppy feeling a lot of pressure to fill massive emotional void in owner’s heart
OTTAWA – Rover, a two-month-old mutt who was recently adopted by Kaleb Smith, is enjoying the frequent walks and treats but is worried he’s not equipped to handle the myriad of avoida…
Doctors recommend that you cover your mouth when you cough you disgusting piece of shit
Hamilton, ON – After a decades long study, doctors at McMaster University’s Michael G. DeGroote School of Medicine have found that to prevent the spread of bacteria and viruses you sh…
Local father sad there’s only two months left to lecture about the importance of snow tires
Belleville, ON – After realizing that it was already late February, local road safety enthusiast and self described father, Hank Jebbs was heartbroken that there is only another two months …
Biden intends to die as he lived; thwarting universal healthcare
Wilmington, Delaware – At a campaign event former Vice President Joe Biden re-affirmed that despite his old age he would keep fighting for the one thing he believed in, that unlike all othe…
Potential employer failing to grasp how rad face tattoo is
LANGLEY, BC — Gerald Dyna has been passed over for a fleet associate position at Hertz Rental after the store manager could not grasp just how cool it was that he had a spider permanently d…
GasLink claims many First Nations support the pipeline, just not the one whose land they’re putting the pipeline on
VANCOUVER- The company behind the Coastal GasLink pipeline has reasserted that many First Nations have signed off on the project, just not the nation whose unceded land they are currently buildin…
China happy that all this Huawei business is distracting from their genocide
BEIJING – With many countries refusing to allow Huawei technology because of its links to Chinese intelligence agencies, as well as the company’s CFO still waiting for extradition to the US…