PYEONGCHANG – Despite stiff competition from Austria, Finland and the Olympic athletes from Russia, Canada has won its fifth silver medal of the games in cross-country bobsleigh. The event …
Breaking: local man not as good at fighting as he thought he was before this fight
Langley, B.C. – Sources are reporting local man, Josiah Thompson, just realized that he was not as adept at hand to hand combat as he thought he was before engaging in it with another patro…
Saskatchewan Party solidifies platform of being a political party from Saskatchewan
SASKATOON – At the leadership convention that appointed Sott Moe the new leader, Saskatchewan Party members also voted to amend their party constitution to emphasize that they are both a po…
Local man completely ignorant of world events after running out of free monthly articles
LANGLEY, BC – After reading the limit of eight articles in the first hour of the month, local resident Nima Petri has been completely cut off from all information beyond what is available t…
QUIZ: Are you being catfished or are you really dating a hot Romanian prince?
Nothing is quite as exciting as making a connection with someone you really like. The flirting, the anticipation, staying up all night chatting. But internet dating can make things more complicat…
Report: the real NAFTA was in our hearts all along
Washington, DC- After months of tense negotiations between Mexico, Canada, and the US over free trade throughout the continent it has been discovered that real NAFTA has been in our hearts all al…
Magnanimous man takes break from thinking about himself to think about those who might benefit him
Red Deer, AB – Red Deer resident Patrick Stoara took a brief respite from thinking about himself to think about those who might be able to help him in some way. “With social media we live i…
Local man starting to suspect shiny piece of plastic he bought is not actually bitcoin
REGINA – Timothy Bear has started to believe that they may be a slim chance that the 7 inch wide, shiny plastic coin he purchased may not be the piece of crypto currency that he initially t…
Study: Rats don’t like it when scientists give them cancer
ST. CATHARINES – After years of clinical trials a group of researchers at Brock University have conclusively proven that rats do not enjoy being given cancer. “For as long as humanity has k…
Report: Tingling in your left arm probably nothing
HALIFAX – Sources are reporting that the tingling in your left arm is nothing to be concerned with. Further reports indicate that you should not call 911 but rather stay in line at this sur…
