BY: JIM MARSHALL It’s that time of the year again where millions of Canadians come together on this sacred day spent either lounging, shopping, or in deep reflection on its meaning. You’ll hear t…
Corporate Santa gives children annual performance reports
TORONTO – Millions of children across the globe woke up early to open their annual Christmas performance reports from Corporate Santa. Anxious youngsters, both naughty and nice, were judged…
Saskatchewan school Christmas pageant replaces Baby Jesus with barrel of crude
OXBOW, SK – Reaffirming the community’s commitment to the oil and gas industry, a local Saskatchewan elementary school is reframing the story of Christmas into the miracle of Canada’s oil a…
Jason Kenney’s war room unveils new, one-of-a-kind logo
EDMONTON – After being caught plagiarizing a US tech company’s logo for his government’s Canadian Energy Centre, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has unveiled a new, unique logo. “It’s called t…
Phone companies required to block scams except scams by phone companies called ‘deals’
TORONTO – Canada’s telecommunication providers are now required to have systems that prevent scammers from contacting and fleecing their clients unless it’s done by the phone company. Accor…
Armoured convoy escorts Caroline Mulroney out of Hamilton
HAMILTON – After announcing the Ford government was cancelling Hamilton’s LRT, Ontario’s Transportation Minister Caroline Mulroney was escorted out of the city. Ten LAV III and two Leopard …
Scheer checks into rehab for milk addiction
OTTAWA – Former Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer has checked himself into a treatment center for his milk addiction. “After a conversation with my kids, my loved ones, and my friends…
20,000 lovers fill arena to watch their ex-man put on a ring
TORONTO – Roughly 20,000 broken-hearted people filled Scotiabank Centre to watch their ex man put on a ring. Millions more of the grief-stricken couldn’t look away from their television scr…
102 years after Halifax Explosion, Dartmouth still waiting for reconstruction
DARTMOUTH, NS – More than a century after a devastating explosion rocked Halifax and the surrounding area, one city is still waiting for relief: Dartmouth. The city of 65,000 survivors and …
Public advised of aggressive panhandler from Alberta who will probably just spend money on corporate tax cuts
OTTAWA – Police are advising the Canadian public to stay away from an aggressive panhandler from Alberta asking for billions and blocking any forward progress if his demands are not met. Th…