EDMONTON – Parents of 17-year-old Matthew Hendrickson have enrolled him in guitar lessons in the hope that a rudimentary understanding of the instrument will allow him to finally lose his v…
Watching deceased father’s hidden, unlabeled VHS tape deemed not worth risk
TIMMINS, ON – Local man, Mark Mcphee, discovered an unmarked VHS tape while packing his recently deceased father’s belongings, a tape which he claims to be not worth the risk of attempting …
Optimist drowns in glass half-full
VANCOUVER, BC – The body of local man, Eric Heston, known by many as one of the most optimistic people they’ve ever met, was pulled last night from the bottom a glass sources say he would d…
Canine court rules leg ‘asking for it’
OTTAWA – The nation’s top dog court decided today that Marlowe, a 4-year-old Pug mix, was not guilty of sexual assault because the complainant’s leg was asking to be humped. Judge Duke, a 9…
INFOGRAPHIC: Blackberry vs Canadarm
Is it entirely possible that the Blackberry and the Canadarm are the same thing?…
INFOGRAPHIC: How good their dog is VS. How much money they have
Here’s an infographic that explains the relationship between how much money a person has versus how good their dog is.…
Queen Victoria celebrates birthday by getting wasted at cottage
POINTE-AU-BARIL, ON – In honour of her 197th birthday, Queen Victoria of England is celebrating the long weekend the way many of her Canadian colonists are, by getting completely shit-faced…
Orphan Black fans successfully clone Tatiana Maslany
TORONTO – Scientists at the Orphan Black Fan Institute say they have successfully cloned a human being, actress Tatiana Maslany, star of the cult sci-fi series, Orphan Black. “If the show h…
3 Easter Eggs you didn’t notice in Paul Martin’s official portrait
Click on the image to see three things that were hidden inside the official portrait of Canada’s 21st Prime Minister.…
