TORONTO – Ahead of the Blue Jays Home opener, team owner Rogers Inc. unveiled a new statue of Ted Rogers in the right field of the Rogers Centre. “Finally the people will have an in-game op…
REPORT: Bowling harder than you remember
EDMONTON, AB – According to a recent report, the activity of bowling is much harder than you remember it being, especially considering that the last time you played, you were practically a …
Local cuck ‘cucksplaining’ why he’s not a cuck
WINNIPEG, MB – Contrary to anyone who has met the man, local cuck, Charles Bennington, known to many in the community as “Chuck the Cuck,” has reportedly been “cucksplaining” to anyone who …
QUIZ: Which Anne of Green Gables are you?
From the windblown sand of Prince Edward Island, to the potato fields also of Prince Edward Island, Lucy Maud Montgomery’s iconic tale of a red headed, scrappy orphan girl has been a staple of Ca…
Editorial by Don Meredith: “At least I did my expenses correctly”
As many of you know, I am a man of faith, and faith is at the foundation of a good and just society. But I fear that the faith in the great institution of our Canadian Senate may be shaken in the…
Rest of Canada unable to name city in Manitoba after Winnipeg
OTTAWA – Scratching their heads and stating that it’s on the tip of their tongues, everyone in the nation outside of Manitoba was completely at a loss when asked to name a city in the provi…
Thunder Bay transit opens single subway station
THUNDER BAY, ON – Transit advocates and city residents celebrated the grand opening of the city of Thunder Bay’s first and only subway station today, located on Memorial Ave. near the Inter…
Pope remains champion at annual Shrove Tuesday pancake eating contest
VATICAN CITY – Consuming a record 87 pancakes in under 20 minutes, Pope Francis has retained his championship title for the fourth year in a row at the annual Shrove Tuesday pancake eating …
UPDATE: Academy releases complete list of revised Oscar winners
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Responding to last night’s now infamous Oscar Best Picture mix up, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has gone through their past records overnight and released…
6 things only kids raised by helicopter parents understand
You’re probably used to it all by now, but your friends just don’t understand what it’s like having to deal with overbearing parents who are large, metallic rotary-winged aircraft. Sometimes, it …
